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love or hate...hard to choose

Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 4, 2012, at 20:19:21

so I was on facebook....saw pictues of my newphews, and of course even if I tried to come in their life...my brother and wife would not let me...they always excluded me from events, and say happy to see me and then bad comments after I leave.. and you know there's a time when you gotta say...people who live in their whole lives as some reject, two things to do: sit and sob and have torchured thoughts the rest of their life...or rise up and and forget all of it...and I think ill chose logic...get all this pain out of here

god...you know... just forget that they even in my life...and start new. It hurts, i can't stand it seeing these pics,it started a long time ago...good relationships with them...then grew up and all these bad events happened.. so 3 years of hiding...starting to pride in myself ...on the way to get my looks back and get all this weight off...10 days on this liquid fast...its hell im hungrey all the time...and have to eat a little or ill faint...

don't tell me to go back...it won't work, evolve out of this pain and get pride in myself...like Lucifer, even after he was kicked out of heaven he still took/takes pride in himself, and feels good, the fact of danmation, all his brothers and sisters in heaven are gone.. nevermind...more talk about abstract stuff...make mixed reviews of legitamincy

i want to resort and feel my heart with hate...burning hate to make be strong. Love makes me sentimental and vunerable...its an attraction, but it has its vunerable sides....exactly like this situation. Its ripping me up, twisting, god get it out of here

just tell something to make me feel better, and know I have friends here. I'm still i'm a little person, not well known. I'M ripping up...


not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false beliefs


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poster:rjlockhart37 thread:1032477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121130/msgs/1032477.html