Posted by rjlockhart37 on November 21, 2012, at 21:39:06
its been about 2 years since i made a chapter of my life...im still in the same chapter right now which I call the waiting period, slightly hibernation period....there needs to be a successful chapters. Im torn up at times when I am vunerable to memories usally when I drink alcohol, or sedatives because they bring back memories of things... People laughing at me, and wanting nothing to do with me....couple days ago...i was in my room and stayed there...it was a l00 knives inside twisting, i can't put it, because its difficult to explain. My mom came in and got angry, she said I have to let go of it....there's nothing to change it now...but I can't this stuff is ingrained into me, i can't get it out.
Anyways, my meds are not working, this body is such a POS, nothing but problems, i've got scans for malabsorbation stuff....everything is normal....and that's not good for me, there is something not showing up in tests.
Well....all I know is that I go day to day, I help others...do things that a good person is suppost to do...but Jesus Christ... he's not doing anything, after prayer to him daily. This is just messy and nasty....ill get a janitor to clean up this crap, extra Pine Sol too....
not a scholar but understand distress
encourage you to avoid false beliefs