Posted by rjlockhart37 on October 28, 2012, at 23:29:41
its 11:18pm...the zyprexa is wearing off and the usall time at night when my mind activates with or without any medication....i feel alot less depressed at night, its usally in the afternoon, like i feel depressed during normal times when people are not depressed....wierd...
anyways like I said before its been almost 2 weeks on zyprexa 20mg and mind has gone flat, no feeling to study for hours....no thinking about spiritual activites, its just gone...flat, dull, boring. I know its the zyprexa....and for what it was used for when I was at a manic state and calmed the fire. But like this anaology....the fire gets out of control and spreads around and causes chaos...water is used to put it out...high amounts of it....it calms it down but the heat from the fire leaves...basically meaning motivation and feeling desire inside losses its radiance. The fire was out of control when it caused over motivation to do wierd things, and chaotic things the heat was too much.
Hope that's not too confusing but that's how I view it....so i've got to find something to start the fire again....but not get it out of control....so either stop taking the zyprexa and continue with nuvigil.....it will take a couple days without zyprexa to build nuerotransmitter levels back to the activies I enjoy doing, study, perky, being to life and being able to hold a intresting conversation.....still a real stimulant I think would help this....
i mean I like the zyprexa at night...its like totoally calming the mind...but its the next day that leaves me unable to think like im suppost too...and learn about new things, getting the motivation to do it.
i've done all the mind techniques to calm my mind down during a rush period....it doesnt work, it leaves me even more confused because my thoughts twist and turn over eachother...
yea....so any thoughts on this? the options are lowering the zyprexa but I don't want any olanzipine in my system for a couple days so I can get back to normal thinking. If I continue to take it will keep me feeling dull...sleepy, not thinking any philosophy....thoughts, but also it does keep my from believing lucifer is giving me knowedlge....but that's just somthing I have to keep to myself because it sounds crazy.
Maybe Depakote....that's what I was on in the psych ward. I see the doctor tuesday...so i may ask about that or lithium...please give some insight...i would love to hear your thoughts.
r
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 300mg
Fanapt 16mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false lights of enlightenment
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1030159
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121018/msgs/1030159.html