Posted by B2chica on September 28, 2012, at 11:06:32
so i verged on psychotic break (my pdoc said) on wed.
i've been struggling (for once not with depression) i guess if there was any doubt before if i was bipolar this episode explains it. am not feeling down but very aggitated, forced drive, starting projects, then also very tired, apathy, dont even want to work. high anxiety. started seeing more visual illusions, higher anxiety, paranoia at work (EVeryone was staring at me, thinking bad things about me) started seeing -peripherally- people that were trying to give me messages. had to leave work.
txt pdoc twice, he called told me to take extra perphenazine.
but get this he said that he thought this was a personality disorder? so i became a little combative and told him if it was they why should i take medication, cant i just 'fix myself'. and what about the messages? he said we needed to stop a psychotic break.so WTF?
anyway i was back at 10mg of generic zyprexa which i think it caused some type of dopamine surge? so i went back down to 5 and upped perphenazine by taking a 2mg at 2:00 (worst part of day for me).two days ago. doing slightly better today.
minimal visuals, still some paranoia, no messages.But i've NEVER had this issue with zyprexa before. so this HAS to be because of the generic. maybe its how its released?
idk.but i'm going to call other pharmacies to see if i can get a different brand of generic. i am currently taking the Teva brand (of which i only have 2 left...)
what the hell do i do next if this doesnt work?
i guess im actually thankful its not a depressive episode. it seems like i can tolerate these a little better.b2c.
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:B2chica
thread:1026909
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120922/msgs/1026909.html