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Modafinil Issues Ugh. Also need help w Memory!! SLS

Posted by AlexCanada on September 7, 2012, at 4:24:31

In reply to Re: Increase dopamine for motivation without risks? AlexCanada, posted by SLS on September 6, 2012, at 19:21:35

Thanks for the info. I been considering whether I should bother refilling my prescription. It allows me to be productive but not sure if the pros outweigh the cons. One of the biggest benefits is how it prevents me from feeling often constantly lethargic which is what I deal with along with often a full spectrum of strong Melancholic Depression symptoms.

For me the effect may be slightly similar to yours for the times I've taken it. Often I'd initially feel a small boost to my mood but aside from energy + cognitive boost (yet with some different type of impairment accompanying it ironically), it does make me feel sometimes dysphoric and empty. When i'd give it a break and start it up again I'd have a significant boost to motivation and productivity.

I am very conflicted on it. I started it this year at various times with temporary very positive benefit but it doesn't usually last. Also I tried it many years ago with initial subtantial positive results but cannot remember why I stopped it. I think it may have been worsening my depression in the end after initial benefits.

Yesterday I had 50mg (sensetive to meds) and I was able to finally be a bit productive and even speak to people a bit! Normally I am so dysphoric and detached, unmotivated, and so cognitively impaired that I cannot even construct proper emails. Today I took 25mg and was able to be bit produtive too but my very poor ability to enjoy things feels compromised. I can write more responses on this forum. Communicate w people a bit more. Not ignore emails. Not as much as yesterday but still better ability to ''do'' things. But it's a darker type of world than my lethargic, dull, dumb, tired, unmotivated, uninterested typical self.

It's so frustrating. Tomorrow I will likely go without any modafinil just to try and see difference as I also start up Zoloft later in the day (been weaning off of parnate). I been really in need of some relief. I have not been able to do much lately. Rhodiola Rosea used to help me so much in many symptoms (only mildly for interest). It even made me feel like a genius at times but it just doesn't have much benefit after a year of use and I been dropping it too.

Only on ritalin and valium right now. Zoloft starts tomorrow. Valium has some mood benefit, anx benefit obviously, ironically sometimes increases anxiety (rarely), headaches, causes tiredness but I've tried withdrawl and the withdrawal is so long and intense. become so dysphoric, world becomes so dark, intense anxiety, moderate panic attacks, mostly these would arrive a week after withdrawal. Initially I'd feel better but it comes on fierce. I wonder if some of it is not withdrawal but a return of pre-benzo symptoms where I'd have much anxiety and be in a very dysphoric world but that doesn't explain why there would be some initial improvement to my symptoms upon reduction of valium. Of cours when I started taking it again (this was few months ago)... a 2.5mg dose made me feel so much better temporarily, and I was back to taking it. If I didn't have severe memory issues i'd be able to figure this out much more easily. I can't even do much research because it only sticks with me for a day. so many stupid notes. antero grade memory loss. bordering on a subtype of antero grade amnesia caused by bilateral ECT many years ago.

gingko helps a ''bit'' and rhodiola used to. but I am so sick of this type of empty life. i will keep trucking along as usual. at least i don't have the scorching pains that always plagued me and it felt torturous to be alive. at least one thing has subsided after all these years.

Any advice on how to deal with Long Term Memory issues? my short term memory is not too bad. But the Antero Grade Memory Loss (difficulty retaining/learning new information) is a constant problem that plagues me every day. No matter which medication has helped me in the past for various symptoms this one big issue has always remained a constant problem. Whenever happens today... i'll forget most of it tomorrow. Rinse and repeat... That is my Damn life. If I saw a tv show a few months ago it will feel quite fresh now.

What meds might possibly help?

> > With the information you've provided do any of the mechanisms of action have potential to effect someone negatively? especially someone with melancholic depression, poor cognition/drive/motivation/interest/pleasure/energy?
> >
> > modafinil sometimes would make things look ''darker'' and my ability to enjoy things would not necessarily improve. possibly worse.
> I and a few other posters on Psycho-Babble have had dreadful reactions to modafinil. I became more depressed, dysphoric, and cognitively impaired. It was mind-numbing. Not only that, but these effects persisted for several weeks after I discontinued modafinil. This is obviously atypical, but it does happen.
> - Scott




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