Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Lou's response- » AlexCanada

Posted by Lou Pilder on August 16, 2012, at 6:41:58

In reply to Severe Melancholic. My story. Please help., posted by AlexCanada on August 15, 2012, at 21:48:13

> Hi. List of meds I've tried are at the bottom along with which have worked best even further.
>
> Anyway... I sometimes feel I am really running out of options. It started over 10 years ago when I was a relatively normal yet extremely intelligent, creative, emotional (in a positive way), very active minded, day dreaming 17 year old. I was able to enjoy many things which life had to offer despite some social anxiety issues (regardless if I had acne or not). I was prescribed Accutane (mega dose of vitamin A) for moderate acne. And no, I was not one of those depressed kids just because of my appearance. I had very good self esteem. Unknown to me the dose prescribed was 3 times greater than what would be normally recommended for my body weight. I did not know the dangers which are now well documented on the internet and gradually started to feel worse, I had no clue why. Was losing interest, was becoming tired, felt mentally sluggish, and things just seemed ''dark''. Eventually I felt it had to be the Accutane. By the time I stopped (had much protest from my parents) it was too late. It built up enough in my system and I kept feeling worse and worse until it hit a baseline of what I could describe as being part of the walking dead. Each day was extremely painful and if I believed in heaven I would have easily not put up with it.
>
> Emotionless, monotone, no interest, no pleasure, severe burning sensations in my head, rapid heartbeat with chest pains, dark desaturated vision, tremendous anxiety, hard to think, lethargic, felt like a zombie, every day was painful to be alive. If you could even consider it being alive.
>
> Now it is over 10 years later and I am still feeling terrible but not nearly as horrendous as how it was during those those dark early days of constant pain. The burning pains have subsided quite a bit. It is more an empty life now than a painful one.
>
> My recent symptoms have been: Severely poor long term memory and ability to retain new knowledge, Antero Grade Memory Loss, Poor Cognition, Lack of emotions, Anhedonia, Dysphoria, Mind feeling blocked/cloudy, Severe lack of enjoyment, Lack of drive/motivation/desire/sense of reward, Difficulty relating to others and feel bit like a zombie, Severe difficulty being social (also partially due to inability to relate), Anxiety (on and off), Low energy, Virtually no sex drive.
>
> My symptoms are full blown melancholic. I often even have low appetite but not lately. I currently take Parnate 20mg (dropped it just recently from 27.5mg since it was better on lower dose), Valium 2.5mg 3-4 times a day, ritalin 2.5 3-4 times a day, Rhodiola Rosea 500-750mg a day (I plan to stop taking this tomorrow), gingko biloba 360mg a day, Korean Ginseng 1500mg a day (plan to likely stop taking this, used to help), and Gapapentin (Nourotin) 100-200mg once in a while (few times a week maybe) (usually improves my mood and many symptoms but tolerance is quick and withdrawal can be harsh), and Provigil 50-100mg a day (might stop taking this, cognition boost but may be compounding dysphoria, higher doses also seem to cause a crash effect where I could feel very sad in the evening).
>
> I likely would not be writing this message without the aid of Gabapentin today. You may wonder why I take such low doses of medications well I am very sensitive to meds and what be ''low'' to others is usually the right dose for me. 10mg Paxil worked relatively well for me for at least a few years but anything higher and I'd be constantly sedated. Higher dose parnate also causes much sedation and cognitive impairment. The parnate does not work as it used to. I really think it has lost much of it's effect. So I need to try something else soon. Overall with a bit of a brief break a few times I have been on Parnate for about 2.5-3 years.
>
> Would pristiq be a good choice? My inability to enjoy anything is my biggest issue aside from poor cognition and often low emotional capacity. Rarely does anything bring me pleasure. Each day is another empty day. I need these Melancholic issues dealt with.
>
> Regarding what I currently take are there any suggestions of what not to take? I understand under Medscape there are 10 interactions with the list above but I been grasping at straws here in terms of my health. I don't have much money and am getting tired of throwing my money away when 80% of the medications/suppliments I have tried have done little if anything to help and many have even made me worse. But I am willing to do what it takes to give me some sort of life back. Paxil used to along with Ativan + Ritalin a long time ago but Pax pooped out. And Ritalin/Dexedrine do not work as much as they used to. In fact it's possible the long term use may be causing additional dysphoria.
>
> It is often very difficult for me to research all this. My memory problems are severe. The difficulty in retaining new information has been one of the biggest obstacles since I became poisoned by accutane but I suspect that specifically may have been caused by ECT since I used to be able to research quite well prior to ECT. Bilateral ECT is capable of causing long lasting memory problems as evidenced by studies as recent as 2010. But I digress.
>
> I just need some ideas. A full list of what I have tried and further below the effects of the meds are listed.
>
> Gabapentin can be exceptional in it's ability to alleviate so many of my symptoms and even produce some level of interest! but... rapid tolerance. So despite dopamine based medications historically working well for me this Seratonin based med has shown me hope that something else may work as well.
>
> Please offer any advice, insight, ideas that you possibly can. For melancholic or my poor cognition, my horrible memory... anything please.
>
>
> Best Medications tried: Ritalin/Dex (especially first weeks), Parnate (first few months especially), Paxil (some resemblence of normalicy and integration into society for few years). Valium/Ativan (some mood improvement + anti-anxiety), Gabapentin (Improvement of almost all symptoms including emotions and cognition, but tolerance builds quickly, black eye druggie appearance)
>
> Treatments Tried:
> Benzo- Valium, Ativan, Klonopin, Xanax
> SSRI- Celexa, Paxil, Zoloft,
> SNRI/Other/Alternative- Wellbutrin, Effexor, Stablon, Remeron, Lithium, Adrafinil, Gabapentin, Narproxen, Vivarint, Buspar, Trivistal LA, ECT, rTMS, Reboxetine, Mirapex,
> MAOI- Parnate, Nardil
> Stimulant- Ritalin, Dexedrine,
> Anti-Psychotics- Zyprexa, Risperidal, Abilify (as a low dose add-on), Seroquel,
> Natural/Herbal- Rhodiola Rosea, Omega 3, Omega Complex, Korean Ginseng, Magnesium Glycinate, Royal Jelly, Niacin, Gingko Biloba, Bee Pollen, L-Arginine, Resveratrol, D3, Maca Root,
>
> Treatment Results:
>
> Worse: Celexa (gradual worsening of depression and burning pain), Effexor (rapid worsening of depression and burning pain), Abilify (rapid worsening of depression when taken w Parnate), Cymbalta (gradual worsening of depression), Seroquel, ECT (Severely damaged my long term memory and overall cognition perminently), Nortriptyline, Lithium,
>
> Better: Risperidal (some ability to enjoy things but overall would still be largely lacking), Parnate, Ritalin (first time this or Dexedrine was taken I was able to feel a bit like my old self, ability to experience pleasure, positive outlook, return of old hobbies, Was able to appreciate being alive), Dexedrine (similar to ritalin), Valium (some mood improvement, some anxiety improvement, most benzos have had similar effect), Ativan (was more social on this than other benzos while also on Paxil), Rhodiola Rosea (herbal similar to an MAOI) (A small miracle for mood, energy, cognition, general well being, would still be lacking pleasure. Has lost much effect over time), Gabapentin (tremendous cognitive improvement, imagination, more emotions, less cloudy thought process, feeling of greater intellectual capacity. Some improvement to mood, ability to be social. Although rapid tolerance onset, inconsistent, ironically sometimes cognitive impairment.), Vivarint (some mood improvement, massive improvement to sex drive),
>
> Mixed Results: Remeron (sluggish on low doses, more active on higher doses, very mild mood improvement, impulsive spending), Zyprexa (some mood improvement, lot of lethargy, cognitive slowness, food tasted wonderful), Stablon, Provigil (increased cognition but unclear if compounds dysphoria)
>
> Negligible or Unsure: Zoloft, Nardil, Adrafinil, Narproxen, Buspar, rTMS (could not access any tangible improvement), Reboxetine, Mirapex, Piribedil, Klonopin,

A_C,
You wrote,[...Please help..runnung out of options..Accutane..the walking dead..like a zombie..painful to be alive...10 years after..still feeling terrible..an empty life now..currently take(list of mind-altering chemicals)...each day is another empty day...medications..have even made me worse...I am willing to do what it takes to give me some sort of life back...the long term use (of mind-altering stimulants) may be causeing additional dysphoria...my memory problems are severe...caused by ECT...I justs need some ideas...please offer any advice...

 

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Lou Pilder thread:1023380
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120803/msgs/1023399.html