Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on August 5, 2012, at 1:16:20
its almost 1am...im of course posting my usal times late at night....but I gotta get to the point i have been so depressed, this mental pain has caused me to always avoid thing that I would make errors such as jobs, it isnt this fantasy of being self-counsious like my mother used to tell and never listened when people made fun of me. Its reality, this social games people will play, and the realization that I need special help on things. People will look at others during this little game they play and they will speak through their eyes to others, and then leave...the'll say real flattering things, tell a bunch of empty promises and will turn on people. It's like Judas in the bible, they will come and give you kisses of politeness and then stab you and leave.
I would mention the fact of lucifer being in my thoughts...but Its too complcated to descibe. It's a spiritual connection, my psychologist told me again that he is liar...and mental distress is his favorite weapon form along with psyhical sickness. Im prone to make really dumb descions, so hopefully ill find the truth and not walk away from it.
I don't know what to do im just flooded with depression and sadness, but I feel that even posting here on babble, its not going to make anything better. When I use babble...i get a good feeling when I maybe connect with someone on good terms...but this state if feel like no one or no thing can get into the locked down mind. And then get attacked on a subject that's not part of my real issue. Well anways....thank for listen folks...
am not a scholar but I do understand distress.
Clonodine .1mg X 3
I encourage you avoid false lights of enlightment.