Posted by Cecilia on June 1, 2012, at 4:54:43
In reply to Re: What Is Passive Suicide? » Cecilia, posted by SLS on May 29, 2012, at 8:07:22
Prasozin is an interesting idea; I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD, though I certainly had a lousy childhood. Lousy from loneliness and anxiety mainly, no big traumas, at least that I remember, no repressed memories emerged in 7 years of therapy. I already take atenolol for hypertension, which does have a modest anti anxiety effect, not sure what the difference between beta blockers like it and alpha blockers like prazosin is.
But I just don't get HOW you are able to tolerate the huge doses of medication you take. Over the years the lists you've given sound like nightmares. 80 mg of Parnate? Without a doubt the very worst week of my life was the week I took a low dose of Parnate. That PLUS 150 mg of Nortriptyline? Plus all the others. I know everybody's metabolism is different but your combinations sound
worse than cancer chemotherapy. I've tried dozens of meds but the only things that have ever actually helped were benzos. I have forced myself to go through adequate trials of lots of meds with horrible side effects and given up on others that were just too horrible to continue. I think some of my trials were just ways of punishing myself for being depressed. Certainly therapy was.
Of course the other thing I don't understand is how it would change my life if I weren't depressed. I have no concept of the absence of depression. I had to retire from my job, which gave me at least some feeling of being useful in the world, because of arthritis. I'm in constant pain. I have no one who loves me, no real friends, no one who would particularly care if I were dead. Still, I'm terrified of death. And unfortunately, that's the one thing that's absolutely guaranteed in life.
Anyway, glad you found something that worked; hope it continues. Cecilia