Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 4, 2012, at 14:59:57
In reply to Re: reconclile - please read - Not to judge. » rjlockhart04-08, posted by SLS on May 4, 2012, at 7:46:50
SLS, yes thank you for your response...I just don't know if people understand the amount of regret and longing to do the vary things I always wanted to have...going out and being normal in social sitautions, having alot of freinds. I get frozen and won't say anything in social arenas, my thoughts lose their track of coherancy and I avoid at all costs of something to think I'm an idiot..and avoid the result of humilation. The sunstances I've used to mask or let up this boring mental state, cannabis will make talk alot more but it causes derealization and I will act vary wierd thinking im in another reality. Methamphetamine clears my thoughts, causes me to be calm but at the same time I talk vary rapidly, and it causes me to become obessesed with whatever I'm doing that intrests me...hyperfocus...its a bit diffrent from amphetamine since its effects are more pronounced. But still, Its dirty and will cause me to lose weight rapidly in just a couple days. There is no way that I could use it over and over again, because it causes my lips to dry and become vary red like I have lipstick or dark reddish tint to it, and if I repeatedly kept doing it it would cause psychiatric abnormalies. It manipulates dopamine like using a car with all the chemicals running at a high velocity state, which would eventually tear down the car. I am vary aware of what this will cause, but the point is I have only used it a couple times, its not an everyday issues or a weekly issue, just a once and a while event. I really hope Im not imply that this is a daily problem, because those cases require intervention by medical professionals and hospitals.
I am currely on Lamicital 50mg, I will ask about abilify. Thanks Scott.