Posted by bleauberry on April 27, 2012, at 17:47:06
In reply to i cant even smile., posted by b2chica on April 25, 2012, at 14:50:32
> i make vailed attempts at passersby but my mouth cant even make a smile without getting shaky like i haven't used those muscles in a year.
Yeah, dang, I've been through stages where it was that bad too. Horrible. Part of mine was a zyprexa related cycling thing. I felt best in evening a couple hours after dose, a bizarre waking anxiety that would go away in a couple hours, and a dreary day until the next dose. Weird. I'm convinced it is actually adrenal issues treatable with herbs and diet, and that somehow zyprexa exaggerates that particular chemistry. Because my daily patterns on zyprexa were exactly what I saw on my 4 sample 24 hour cortisol test. In other words while zyprexa is really good at treating anxiety in general, it is not good for treating that kind of anxiety and in fact maybe makes it worse.
> since starting back on zyprexa ive had about equal time good and bad, with feeling worst about 11-5 or 7 at night. best in the morning.
> i started menses today and i think it has dropped me Terribly low.
> cant concentrate at work and i'm under deadline that i feel is piling up by the second.
> my memory s#cks.
> feeling gray and tingly in my mind.
Cortisol is only one of several major hormones and I know how it felt, feels, so sure I am on board with the idea that hormones can whack mood all over the map. I think that's where the adaptogen herbs can do a good job. Rhodiola rosea, eleuthero, ashwaghanda, probably the three best in my opinion. In my experience with them, rhodiola has the most prominent and rapid antidepressant and antianxiety action. All of them really take months up to a year to do their stuff but they also have immediate effects and in that regard I think rhodiola is my first pick.
> i'm sure its due to menses, however i also stopped taking my perphenazine. Even though it was so little should i have continued to take it? was it somehow helping with depression too? i was placed on it for anxiety thats why low dose (2mg am and 4mg pm).
If I'm not mistaken, perphenazine at very low doses is sort of similar to amisulpride at low doses...dopamine stimulation being more prominent than dopamine blunting, though both are happening. And so, like amisulpride, it has potential in depression and anxiety. Regardless, yeah, the recent stoppage of it would probably cause some moderate to severe discomfort for a few days to a couple weeks maybe as the body adjusts to not having that molecule.
> i just want to curl up in bed and stare at the wall. i might call in sick tomorrow... i dont know that i'm any good here.
> any suggestions.
I know it sucks, believe me I know, but no matter how in the dumps you are tomorrow...and maybe you won't be...go to work. One minute at a time. Really hard and the clock seems to go too slow so it helps me to get as immersed into something as I can and just focus on that and block out everything else. Anyway, I see depression as a tool of the demons and I'm not going to let them win a battle without a fight.
> PS i am NOT upping zyprexa to 10. i've already gained 15lbs but now able to control appetite better and i can get up to exercise. if i go to 10 my appetite increases AND i wont beable to wake up in the morning.
> so please dont suggest that....please.
Over the 8 years I was on zyprexa I refused to go any higher. Most of the time 5mg was good. A couple times I tried higher doses at 7.5 and 10 but those doses didn't agree with me. People do fine or really good with 10mg, but I'm not one of them. I knew the longterm risks and consequences of antipsychotics and I was very aware of it and I also knew that complications were correlated with the size of the dose and the length of time. I couldn't really control the length of time since I din't have a crystal ball to predict future, but I figured it would be a while, years maybe, so the part I could control was the dose which stayed at 5mg. But that's just my story shared for comparison that's all.
It seems like depression has its grasp stronger than other symptoms, is that right? If so then the only course of action is to focus immediately on ways to enhance/support mood specifically, starting with and hopefully being fine with a few easy health food store items. Maybe medication is perceived as an immediate choice then my opinion would be to go for the norepinephrine+serotonin balanced approaches. That's because I think they work faster than other meds when they work, they work more often, and the response is more robust and long lasting. Such as combos of zoloft or prozac with nortriptyline or desipramine; savella by itself or combined with any other common antidepressant; clomipramine. Maybe the simple addition of prozac. I know first hand because it worked well for years for me, there is a special synergy between prozac and zyprexa. It's different than either med alone and the end result is more than the parts combined. Anyway, good potential with that combination and well researched.
Hang in there. I'm not having a bad day today but when I do have bad days you described them very well so just wanted you to know someone else can relate.