Posted by poser938 on April 24, 2012, at 11:23:25
okay so.. my severe emotional problems are from some long term effects a few meds had on me. well, every one i took has had effects on me that stuck with me, if i took them long enough from them to have an effect on my emotions. this is just how my brain is.
before i took my first set of meds in 2005, i had faith in the FDA and drug companies. i thought there was no way the meds i took could have a long term effect on me, but i was wrong. i dont know WHY my brain is like this, it may be because of the coma i was in 10 years ago from enecphalitis. and because of this, i have realized i need to approach my treatment differently. ever since my 1st round of meds, i have been focused on getting my brain back to normal. i have researched how these meds effect the brain. and now i'm trying to counteract this with other meds.
so far i have been successful in small ways, and made my self worse in other ways. but now im starting to have a seriously hard time. the doctors and psychiatrists do not believe my situation. they say it is impossible. my most recent visit with my medical doctor, he first told me that it was "highly unlikely" that the meds have effected me like this. then he flat out said it was impossible. he was right with his 1st answer. i know it is unlikely that someone could be effected by meds like this.. but it is possible. and in my case, it is happening. and it is real. they call me psychotic and delusional for thinking the meds effect me like this. they just want to approach my treatment like they do everyone else. to just throw a random med at me for me to take. i cant just have them treat my situation like this. i cant just try any med. i have to do my best to make sure it will be the right med. this is why im trying to get the right dose of ketamine.
and if this doesnt work for me, i feel like i may be out luck. i am having such a difficult time with doctors, they just make me feel more hopeless.
why is it so hard for them to see the possibility of meds effecting someone like this? even after clinical trials and the med is released to the public, they still dont know how the med can effect people. so it is like it is in one huge clinical trial wher they are still discovering new effects of meds after millions have taken it.
...im so wore out from not sleeping last night, but i hope all this makes sense.