Posted by maggiemae on October 16, 2011, at 19:41:47
In reply to Re: Starting EMSAM in a week - wish me luck! » maggiemae, posted by Phillipa on October 16, 2011, at 10:59:00
> I do wish you luck. Just wondering if you feel better off the meds do you still need an antidepressant? Phillipa
Great question. I would not say "I feel better" off meds - I just am enjoying the lift of the brain cloud that I was in on the meds. I have chronic pain, so basically always feel like I have been run over by a train. I went off Effexor (ugh!!) a year and a half ago and once the withdrawal craziness was over I felt decent emotionally, and had my libido back, but had a lot of pain problem and weird anxiety. It then took 9 months before I began to feel bad (after a nightmare trial of nortriptyline - I think it sucked out all my brain chemicals!!) . I was in really bad shape. Really bad. Actually, I can't even say I "felt bad" - I felt NOTHING. It was like living in purgatory. The worst emptiness that I never want to experience ever again. I ended up on Lexapro/Remeron to get me out of the ditch (wasn't in the right mind to make the choice to try EMSAM at that time). And while it pulled me out of the ditch (and got me to eat again! ha!) it was not a solution I wanted to continue - the apathy and detachment that ssri's give me are no fun, literally. I have no joy.
So, I am now not willing to wait to fall into the ditch again to begin the next attempt (EMSAM) to feel better and enjoy my life.
I will say I am a bit apprehensive. Today I have a headache from hell, and normally would reach for imitrex or vicodin when I get headaches. Not sure what exactly I will do with these headaches while on EMSAM? Dr. thinks it could help the headaches, so we will deal with it when (if) it comes... Getting the run around about wether vicodin is safe. Have not gotten an option for true migraine abortives - any ideas? Luckily, I have had only a few in the past year on Lex/Rem - I think they were really helping my headaches...
Sorry to ramble. thank you for bearing witness to my journey. It helps to have virtual "friends" who have some inkling of what we go through. It can be very lonely trying desperately to be normal and not always succeeding...
poster:maggiemae
thread:999838
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111016/msgs/999930.html