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Dinah - Your Questions Awsnered

Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on October 1, 2011, at 23:02:43

In reply to Re: dinah » rjlockhart04-08, posted by Dinah on October 1, 2011, at 0:40:38

1. Moving out to you means having access to stimulants?
-That is not the whole plan but that is part of the plan that is going to go along with it but I need to get away and start again. I know I have addictive abusive behavior that will result in abuse again but I am going to use abstainance to modify my behavior.

2. You want to apply to agencies to live on your own so that you can take stimulants without any limits?
-People seem to think I am going to get multiple presciptions from doctors and go on an abuse rampage when I get out. That is something that is very doubtful to happen. I will use what I have conservitive and not abuse which I had done in the past. I still know I am going to get a strong urge to take more than im prescibed. I will let be known very well here. I am going to do my best for that not to happen.

3. Does this sound right to you?
-It sounds like something that I deserve and need to. Are you talking about unlimited access to stimulants? no I will not be taking multiple stimulnats.

4. Do you really think it's in your best interests to be able to have unlimited access to stimulants?
-I think all that's needed is doctor that will prescibe something I basically need. Not getting multiple presciptions from doctors. I never have written forged presciptions neither lied to doctors about my condition. I tell them exactly what is going on. Now, a couple of times I have "pushed" to get a stimulant and has both worked successfully and not successfully.

5. Do you think it's within the agency's mission statement to enable you to live on your own so that you can have unlimited access to stimulants?
-that is something I will determine when I get there. I have a long way to go. But my main goal is to be on my own and supporting myself then stimulants will come next after I have settled everything. When im stable and can hold myself together but thats going to be hard because I think that I have to have a stimulant to function in life which is pure addict behavior I know I have and im trying to get rid of it. It sticks to you and its so hard to get it away from you because addiction is a part of life for me due to some situations.

6. Could it be that you are allowing your mother to be your ego, your self control, and then being angry with her for it?
-I see it as she takes care of everything for me and provides support and love but the thing that she is lacking is the understanding that I would benefit from a stimulant and refuses all options relating to it. That's what really makes me not like her and maybe that is another part of being an addict because all the counselors I've seen have told me I've had addict behavior to obtain things I want. It's not with stimulants its with everything. I have a very weak will. I am not strong in supporting myself. I depend on many people to help me and that's why I post here so much to get help and advice from people who are wiser than I am. Their is many places I could go but I choose to come here because its like home for me here.

7. How did your mother encourage you to complete your schoolwork or act appropriately in various situations. Did she explain the reasons for the rules, and allow you to make choices yourself?
-she actually would stress all options to get it done and would do anything to help me get it done. This is why I am so dependent on people because I have been taking care of my whole life and its just been a couple years without the stimulnats which helped me complete thing that I knew I could do. Yes she would tell the rules but I never got a chance to do them by myself. Everything was taken care of for me. Independency is something Im really going to have to take a step forward to get to.

8. And suffer the consequences associated with those choices?
Yes, but I didnt face the real consequences. I was usally covered and soon this coverage will run out if I don't do anything. Reality is going to hit me soon and Im avoiding it. I've avoided many things that have success attached to it.

9. How did she end up now being responsible for your making good decisions?

-Well theirs not that many descions that are made today because I don't want to go back to school because I feel stupid with out stimulants. Stimulants always made me feel real smart. Or smarter than other people and maybe I was but it was false sense of securtity that I looked to. And still to do today that's what I think about most of the time is that I don't have that help that stimulants gave me. I feel hopeless, sometimes.

10. What precisely happened at the job?
I had trouble taking instructions.

11. You say they sent you home because you weren't productive.
Yes, that is correct. I didnt move fast enought and have good accuracy with JCPenny assessories. THat's where I did work at a JCPenny Warehouse factory.

12. Did you show up?
-Everyday

13. Behave appropriately
-It was just I didnt move fast enought.

14. Attempt to apply yourself to the job at hand?
- I did everything they told me to do. I just had trouble following instructions and that made them think I didnt have much ability to listen.

15. Why precisely did they feel they needed to send you home?
- because they didnt have anyhting that they could successfully use me as a productive person of the warehouse facility. I really am disappointed in myself for not meeting their critiria.

16.
Have you had this job long?
2 weeks.

Anytime ask me these questions and I will awnser them.

Matt


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poster:rjlockhart04-08 thread:997889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110925/msgs/998522.html