Posted by zonked on September 24, 2011, at 22:04:00
In reply to I'm pretty devestated, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 24, 2011, at 19:29:41
Objectively, could you ask a friend how you were on stimulants before you abused them, or did you abuse them most of the time you were on them?
Were you happier, were you able to achieve some goals? How were your relationships with other people? If you work or went to school then, how did you do?
How was this doctor chosen?
If you live with your Mom, does she take you to your appointments? If that's the case, and she cares about you, would she be willing to take the paper prescription directly from the doctor and make an agreement with the doctor, initially, to give you any controlled meds for you?
I can't figure out the solution to your problems, Matt.
What I can tell you is that my life, objectively (I know this because of what other people say, not just how I feel) is 1000% better than before I started feeling better *this time* (my depression is recurrent), and that wouldn't have been possible without some chemical assistance. Not in my case.
You know, I know, we all know that, in Affective Disorders treated with medication, medication is often the biggest piece of the puzzle but does not alone make for a fulfilling life; it just corrects errant biology. I think you know no med alone is going to make life complete, you said it yourself in different words.
Are you still taking 20mg Zyprexa? As Christ_Empowered said, that is a LOT of Zyprexa. It could be blocking the other meds from working. Are you depressed; do you know what depression IS?
What is it that you're expecting the meds to do for you? I understand about losing things, I have ADD-inattentive myself and (currently) am not taking meds for it, but my ADD improves when the depression goes away and may not be as severe as yours, if that's what you have.
I think for babble to be of any help, we would need to know a little bit more of your history:
1. When were you first put on psychiatric medication and for what?
2. Was it you, or a parent or teacher that initiated the contact with a doctor?
3. Do you remember feeling like you needed medicine at the time or did you start taking meds because your parents thought it was a good idea?
4. What are your moods like throughout a typical day, week, month?
5. If getting on meds was your parents' choice, what was it they thought that you had? If it was yours, what brought you into the doctor's office? Did you feel sad a lot for no reason? Were you anxious? Had you tried ADD drugs illicitly and they resolved some symptoms or made you feel better?
6. Do you have any close friends - ones you can trust to tell you the truth, not just tell you what you want to hear - and think carefully - and if so, what is their opinion on your predicament?
Here's where I get stuck ethically. I think you need some strong guidance and good, professional advice; maybe a little bit more help than some people on Babble might. Don't take that personally. I am not a professional. It's easy for me to weigh in quickly when I feel as though someone has the basics of their symptoms and disorder down, but we just know fragmented bits and pieces and your history is complicated by substance abuse.
What did your Mom say, what does your doctor say; if you've posed the idea about having her take the paper script and doling out your pills/patch whatever, for a trial of a stimulant?
Severe unmedicated ADD can be a nightmare that can cause secondary depression that can also be a nightmare.
Here's what might help us help you, and it's easy. When you go into the doctor next time, whether you believe her or not (and this is your RIGHT as an adult), ask her what your diagnoses are.
Write this down or print it:
1. What diagnoses are noted (if applicable) on Axis I?
2. What diagnoses are noted (if applicable) on Axis II?
3. Is there anything noted on Axis III?
4. Is there anything noted on Axis IV?
5. What is your "GAF" score on Axis V? What is the highest the past year?
Axis I includes notes clinical disorders like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD; and sometimes their severity of the state the disorder is in, as well as its chronicity.
Axis II includes personality disorders (basically, problems with one's personality that impede usual functioning in which the person often fails to acknowledge there is anything wrong with themselves; resistance to change and iron-cast ways of thinking.)
It also includes things like Autism and mental retardation.
Axis III includes general medical health conditions that may be contributing to a mental health problem; like Parkinson's or stroke, cancer, Lyme disease and many other things.
Axis IV includes any psychosocial/situational problems that might be contributing to the mental health problem - like homelessness, family problems, money problems, divorce, job problems
Axis V is a sort of how you're doing overall scale, where 0 is the worst and 100 is the best (nobody gets 100. Not even people with no history of mental illness.) This isn't something you can take to another doctor and say: "See she gave me a 50, I must be doing awful!" I think this is mostly useful so a doctor can keep track of your history with a scale that makes sense to him or her.
For example:
If you ask how I'm doing on a scale of 0 to 100, I might say 75; my doctor might say 80; and my best friend might say 90. This isn't too important except to see how this number has changed, with the same doctor, over time.
What these numbers are could help us help you. "Low processing speed" isn't a diagnosis and your doctor knows this.
And anyone else around, do you think I'm helping Matt? I feel really bad for you dude.
-z
> Prozac 60mg
> Wellbutrin 300mg
> Zyprexa 20mg
> Clonodine .1mg X 3 daily
>
> and all of these medications do not have any effect at all. They all pooped out. I don't understand why I am so resistant to many meds. I was hoping they would help and im having no effect from them at all. This is so frustrating because I called my doctor and told her they where not working and left her a message about Parnate and the Daytrana patch which is basically Rililin that you patch it on to your skin. It still can be abused but it has less abuse potential than the pill form.
>
> See all the advice I get here I'm so appricative of it but It's like I read it and then don't listen to it after im done and people have taken their own time to help me and I just avoid doing anything. That's why im so miserable because im such a passive agressive but mostly passive person. I resist things that require work. I want a pill to do it for me because it seems easy and that's a horrible mental state. I am pretty dependant on people and substances to do things for me. That's why I have been asking people to rescue me and help me get out of the misery I am but you know I don't know if I can really even help myself. I try and then give up. I get frustrated too much and then I have anxiety from my errors. I want to sleep and I can't because I want to avoid this reality I'm in and go to the dream world and live there where when your in the dream world you can make it any way you want it to. Lucid dreaming. Its fun!! but its an escape for me. I always want my dreams to get me out of the reality I live in where I am trapped at home screaming for someone to come rescue me and get me on the road to success. I depend on people too much to do it for me. I'm like a baby. I'm limited because I don't feel i have the potnetial to get where I wnat to go which is to work for Merrill Lynch and be a investment banker. That's my dream but I am so disorganized. I lose things frequently. I forget various important dates and people scold me alot for my errors. People its not easy being me I'm very limited to somethings and one of them is living life like a normal person.
>
> I just hope someday people will understand. But they can't do anything because I have to save myself. I don't want to be sad person anymore.
poster:zonked
thread:997787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110914/msgs/997801.html