Posted by g_g_g_unit on August 30, 2011, at 8:51:01
For those who have nothing, what keeps you going?
I'm 25, suffer from severe OCD, and am trapped at home with my parents - a mother who's an intolerable narcissist who won't give my suffering the basic attention it deserves, and a father who cares more about me leaving unwashed dishes in the sink than anything else that goes on in my life. My 18 year old brother bullies me, and when I don't shower him with attention, the best my mother can come up with is "why are you so miserable?" - this, despite writing her a letter several months ago detailing my OCD in all its horrific glory, and only because she was trying to force me to work while severely depressed. The thing is, painting them in that light makes them sound more cartoonishly sinister than they really are - they'll alternate their abuse with stretches of warmth, meaning that it takes on this really subtle, insidious quality (it took me years to finally cotton onto my mom's psychological abuse).
My career is over, before it even really began; the best I can hope for now is some crappy part-time job in a field I don't care about and well below my natural abilities. I have few friends, who have no idea what's going. I'm utterly dependent on people I hate.
I mean that question in all sincerity: what keeps you alive? 'cos from where I'm sitting, I see a total void up ahead.
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:995246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110822/msgs/995246.html