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Re: depressive thinking

Posted by B2chica on June 15, 2011, at 12:39:05

In reply to Re: depressive thinking B2chica, posted by zonked on June 15, 2011, at 11:19:46

thank you for responding.
i went outside to get some sunlight. seemed to help while i was out there.not so much now.

the perphenazine is mostly for anxiety. i do tend to have visual and auditory illusions as my depression worsens. but dose is so low that i dont know if it would even help.
i have been on pristiq since december. Perph since april
i was worried about the adderall kind of crashing my already broken system. i think i went off adderall in december and back on it in feb.

i would love to call or txt my pdoc. but there's nothing he can do via phone.
i see him friday. thats two days. although i hate how days seem to feel like weeks in the land of the depressive.

i watched Narnia with my oldest child monday.
all i can think of is that i too wish to go to Asland Country...
it sounds superficial and childish, but i think everyone who knows cslewis knows what i truly mean.
its just a nice way to say it.

*************************
yes i have two absolutely beautiful children. and i fully intend to fight to be there for them as long as they need me.
but as those of us that suffer truly know...its not about how full-filling your life is, or how your death may effect others.
its about the world of darkness.
the loneliness
the mind-bending war within yourself.
and your will to fight...

i wish my pdoc was my T and i could call up and meet him tonight, but he is only available on Mondays Fridays and Sat.
So...regardless i have to wait.
and i can.
i will.

i've been in worse situations and survived. at least i know i have a good pdoc. one i trust.
..
ok..blah blah.
now i think i'm just typing to keep myself talking.
i better get some semblance of work done.or at least started before i get fired.

thnx


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poster:B2chica thread:988200
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110610/msgs/988217.html