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HELP: Underlying Bipolar? im scared!

Posted by Hunk20 on May 15, 2010, at 13:52:01

In reply to Re: NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in, posted by Dan_MI on May 15, 2010, at 11:48:22

Thanks, Dan.

Bipolar or not thats the big question.

Maybe its just that im uncomfortable with being happy because its a very unfamiliar feeling.

I think so far i didnt have full mania since i still was in control, people reacted to me in a good way, they werent pissed of to talk to me or scared. They just think im a fun guy to be around wich indeed i can be. Some give me their number to hang.. or to do other stuff :P It just feels like im a sociable, confident guy with good mood that many people like. And thats kinda unreal to me and even a bit scary. Im quite good looking.. thats what people tell me.

On the other hand i had insomnia, that needs to be treated and i do sometimes feel bad even though not depressed. It feels kinda like i got kicked outta depression and out of denial faster than i can take. Just too much in too little time.
And after i take zyprexa my moods defenitly often f*ck*d. Wont ever take it again.. Abilify is up next on the list.

Sometimes i get f*ck*d with or without zyprexa because i get so stuck in my head thinking about all those realizations about my life and my situation. Its alot at once, a huge experience with nardil.

Its real hard to tell. For the last 12 years i had low self esteem and felt uncomfortable/anxious around people and very often "down". Maybe even more than 12.. I just came out of denial more and more over the years. know what i mean? Mood fluctuations: absolutely.. but supernatural good mood combined with more than one mania symptom.. defenitly not prior to nardil.

I dont know how normal mood feels. Its subjective.

Im just really scared. Scared that i might be or turn bipolar, scared to fall back where i was and scared of whats coming because i made all these realizations about my life. Im kinda scared of happiness. But i know i want it and i wont give up.

Its tough to take you know. Even the good things are tough to take. There have often been good looking girls that showed initial interest in me. But i always managed to blow myself out or to get into a situation were i pay badly for using my wiener. Now i actually have a real shot and got pretty far with a gorgeos stripper. She asked for my number in the club. Just blew myself out after ive taken zyprexa yesterday and felt not so good again. Maybe it can be fixed, i told her whats up with me before that. Today told her im sorry and id give her a spontanous booty call when im in the mood and that ive been f*ck*d up yesterday. We are both looking for fun and no shes not in for the money i checked her out.

Anyways would it be advisable to add low dose lithium or some lithium orotate for safety reasons? Omega 3 is good for bipolars i heard. Anything else that can be done for safety?
Please help im really going through a rough time bipolar or not.

Id really feel better if i have a security for that matter.. right now there is defenitly a tendency. Underlying Bipolar or the tough circumstances/initial nardil hypomania.. Even my pdoc cant answer it.

Thanks in Advance


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