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Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 14:18:32

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 13:33:55

> The psychotic symptoms are not your only symptoms though. There's also been the hypomania, depression and panic attacks. You said that you had some psych symptoms before you ever took benzos in the first place.

Ed, the hypomania, and depressive feeling are/were both caused by trileptal, i promise you that. They wouldn't/weren't there w/o it. I am/have not been having any panic attacks. My body/promised me it wouldn't have anymore, and that i didn't have the option to have one once i had gone CT on the benzos:) I haven't had a panic attack in a long time, maybe years ago while abusing stimulants. BTW, who with anxiety, would abuse stimulants? But maybe if you have benzos and booze to counter it, some would.

I only took the benzos for derealization, no other psych issues at the time.

Yes, I had panic "disorder" at age 20, which quickly went into remission after using paxil. Then there was my 8 hour panic attack of depersonalization, where i'm on my hands and knees in the shower, and banging my head on the toilet seat, because i couldn't feel anything.
IMO, had i not been on an antidepressant and abusing alcohol, those problems would not have been there. That plus living in western civilization cultures. As our brains are designed to live in hunter/gatherer lifestyles, why/who the hell wouldn't develop "psychiatric", "psychological" issues (sorry, i was an anthro major, with emphasis on genetics, cultures, and evolution, both cultural and social)?
Could it be the world you live in, that is greatly going against how your brain and genetics are designed to live, and not the person?
If our genetics are designed to be living in say packs of about 30 persons whom the know well or so, and now, a person goes to a football game, where there are 100,000 strangers, and they have a panic attack, or "social anxiety", sorry, BS. Of course it's not the situation, they have "issues", psychological and psychiatric, and a "chemical imbalance". Come on!

I did have peter pan syndrome, didn't want to grow up, and how no clue what to do after graduating college, i'll give you that. What am i supposed to do? be like the rest of the herd of sheep and cattle and just get a corporate job, pay bills, and do things on the weekends to prepare for the week? sounded like fun,didn't fit who i was/am. I almost bailed with the peace corps. I should have, but i had a big car payment on my lexus, that i had to buy, because i was a writer for a bank.
Being an anthropology major, i spoke to many of my professors who worked with various tribes from around the world, and i always inquired, that if i just got up and moved to say Africa, would that particular tribe accept me, so that i could live a more "natural" life that my brain is designed for. They usually said yes, and it weighed on my mind's idea, and in retrospect, wish I had:)

> Sorry. I know it's often used as a way of 'blaming the patient' for symptoms which are actually caused by meds. Anyway :) I think you have underlying anxiety, since you had some panic attacks even before you took your first med. I also think that there is the possibility of a mood disorder, due to the hypomanic episodes. And then there's the MS, your most obvious underlying condition.

I never experienced anything like hypomania/mania until i was given lexapro.
For the time being, it is trileptal that is inducing the hypomania.
Lamictal would induce mixed mood episodes
All the ADs would make me cry, give me racing thoughts, give me derealization, and increase obsessional habits, and give me mixed moods.
So many great memories of being in bed, crying with depression, and having racing thoughts at the same time.
Much/most of this is/was at my parents house, so i see it in images. Tough to take. Even skimming through the movie channels, i would/can remember what drug i was on when i saw that movie, and how i felt at that time. SO enjoyable

With all of my wonderful seemingly adverse and opposite reactions to drugs/meds, what am I supposed to take? Maybe illegal ones:)

Ed, are you more annoyed and irritated by my writing, or entertained?





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