Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on November 12, 2009, at 19:50:55
I just....there is a feeling, like i'm going to be condemned, don't want to feel this way, the fact of life right now is I live in isolation yet/misery. See, I can't put stuff here that is "too much" because did that in the past, so I finally learned some guidlines on what to post.
goodtimes I had with my family but I want to go back and redo it, don't have "social status quo" and when I was younger I knew I would make it. Well, I still can..I know I can, it's negativity that enter's, just 'fail' at making a Goal, now i've made little goals but not big ones that I want to make, like moving out. It's kinda being in a controlled enviorment, and that's like living under communism/rules/things that you wish you just 'leave'. Yet i'm disabled in somepart or sense, and other people that are normal don't see it, they just see me as someone who doesnt listen. Well, I can say if you don't listen, and can't even listen to your mind's goal's and follow them, the only thing left for me is the bible. The Holy Spirit, maybe being pastor would be good, because that's something structured to talk about.
You know i'm just going to put my life here for maybe somehelp, I know people here, it's just by the poster's name, but phillipa thank you for being supportive.Anyways, what's gone on is..isolation, and something in the past that I got really hurt and started running from it. I'm weary from running now, I read scipture like food because it's the only guidleline to follow by. My past is vanity, and what I did was vanity, rebellious just not the "james dean" "madonna" style where people think your cool. I'm mellow, when I talk on the phone or go out with anyone..that's pretty much how it is.
I wanted to share onething:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter_life_crisisI looked at this, and I saw some major point's that are going on right now.
Just some support online because...i never knew that I would go this far in withdrawl, and exclusion because I know that I would not be accepted, it's a mindset. I wished I could catch on quick to a conversation. People get stimulus from talking, I don't.
It would be so great if babble was a support/mentor site.
I'm about through, but that's all I gotta put.
Hug..
Just hope somethin good, will happen
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:925535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091107/msgs/925535.html