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What I long for the most. » zarathustra

Posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2009, at 2:25:07

In reply to Re: Dexedrine advice needed re: tolerance + addict » desolationrower, posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2009, at 1:15:30

I want to be understood. I want to be accepted for who I am. I feel like such an outcast. Where do I find people who are deep and expressive, who talk about their feelings, who dont put others down to make themselves feel better, who wont make me feel feminine for being who I am, who will comfort another person just because they need it. Who can empathize. Who arent afraid to say sorry, or I was wrong, who can forgive because they know that they are no better.
OR maybe I am simply some kind of Polyanna looking for something that does not exist.
Maybe I am living in some stupid utopian fantasy. Maybe I am naive. Survival of the fittest baby. Life is pretty horrible when you break it down, we are here to procreate no different from a virus. We are savage disgusting beasts. If it wasnt for seratonin, reality would drive us all to suicide.
I really dont know what I am trying to communicate here, I think I am hust angry right now and its coming out in the keystrokes, in a sort of stream-of-conciousness style, please forgive me if its all absurd.


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090912/msgs/917759.html