Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 6, 2009, at 23:43:22
I had to use my old sc to get on/ forgot the password for the newone.....what else is new!
I'm telling you, be grateful for anything you have, i lost contact, then the net (that's why i havent been bloggin') Suffering in the spirit, finally comes to a point of spiritual death. Which no other's see or understand.
Finally i feel i've been in castaway for 3weeks, you know much that feels, feels like you lost contact with almost anyone. Except God, the almighty.
Anyways, finally to get back to net and start sending helpmessages to people that are in need right now. Times...from what i've experienced/desolation. Yet you still are alive, you feel that the "world" "reality" has "collapsed". Looking around, think of this view, a support beam in your life, it starts to weaken, due to circumstances (through what has happened currently, or a "bundled" of memories that "cataplote" through) Been here, not as severe maybe as a case, mental death can happen. I can't go through the "exact", things that it applies to/where/when/how- it's just a circumstance of which a individuel, well...i can't give an example from another. PSTD is associated with (usally).
Accepting that reality of what has happened, self-denial can happen, breakdowns, which (can, not always). I've broken through, life will feel (my case) 1000tons on the back, feeling of failure, that (i failed people, many i knew). What i'm saying, this is not going to be in the "moment" feeling, this is going to be a long-while to get back to stablization, or "serenity" of how life should be seen as. That depend's on anyone's way of see'in happiness, stablitity. Dissociation...somepeople have heard of it, this applies usally in this class, due to "unacceptance" of what has happened, or living in the past. Not feeling real, or what you see [feels as it's a "prop" or your in a dream][anyone's own indviduel percieved reality of growing till the current time]
[[[Seeing the world, own view, it's a glass/blocking any "relationship". You see an image, but not the person under in this "maze" of glass. Don't want to detail, that's personal stuff]]]______________________________________________
Point I want to make, i do have someunderstanding of what it feels like to be "dead" inside, feel like "ghost". Look in the mirror, if have to go outside and socialize about stuff i dont want to....(usally the case) Make yourself sharp, have a cologne for that situation, and sunglasses. Breathe mints if you smoke!
a therpist, well...someone to talk to, showed me "meditation"....learned. I started it, forgot steps, but finally caught on. From what i believe/ or been told, it's a feeling of "tranquility" or "rest", as far as i learned. Yet the cirmcumstance, i feel "love", well to the own innerself-side that has been destroyed. What, then, it is possible to rebuild inside. Make a new "blueprint" of the way you live. The rest is gone, (to those who, if this applies, or can relate to you)
This is to out to anyone who's going through a crisis. Take Care, know there's someone writing this, because i know what it feels like when "hell" hit's.
I write, not in stable, more of "pop" up, because an idea will come to mind, to show or express another view that is "logical".
The reason i'm doing this is because of "self-destuct" happened, people didnt know it, or see it, but it happened. So, life is a million diffrent view's and path's to what you can get to a mathematical point in life. The thoughts you chose, just one little "thought" can be a .00001 impact on the way life goes..from one point to the next. Where you go, the descions, active or idle. Just want to you know this.
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Lucky number is : 7:11pm
Tommorow (believe that at this time! something will change, just believe it!)(just a joke......gotta know me)
rj....
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:899770
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090531/msgs/899770.html