Posted by crittercuddler on December 13, 2008, at 6:39:29
Hello all, I am a new member. I have been reading posts for hours so I hope this comes out coherently.
I have severe OCD and major depression, suicidal in nature. I have been unable to obtain relief in the last several years due to the following:
1. I USED to take Celexa, 60mg for the OCD and depression. I took it from Fall of 2001 until December of 2005 at which point I stopped it after completing a taper. I stopped it with the intention of getting on another anti-depressant because I felt the Celexa had lost its effectiveness. (I have since wondered if perhaps the fact that it went generic around the time I first noticed it was losing its effictiveness might have had something to do with it, but it is a moot point now.) When I was on it and it was "working" it only worked partially. It took the edge of my obsessions and slightly helped my depression. I was by no means cured, but it did help me function at a much higher level than I am able to without any medication.
2. Ok, SINCE getting off the Celexa I have not been able to tolerate any other SSRI for more than a couple of days and rarely, for a few weeks, before I had to stop because of the following side effects:
a. awful insomnia, helped only by Seroquel ***
b. severe restless feeling, but I don't feel
well enough to do anything about it so I it is very uncomfortable
c. obliterates my ability to concentrate or keep my train of thought (it feels like rocket science to straighten out my purse)
d. short term memory difficulties
e. myoclonic jerking when trying to sleep. (this is new and started since I have gotten off of Klonopin) The jerks whenever I try to relax or go to sleep. I will get a jerk everytime I start to drift off. This complicates the insomnia, making any chance I had of getting to sleep go away.
*** I tried 5mg of Prozac and it made me tired. Isn't that odd as it is supposed to be stimulating, right? I discontinued the 5mg because I was getting the other side effects that I mentioned.
I have tried tiny doses of the SSRIs and I get the same awful side effects, even at 5mg of Zoloft, 5mg of Paxil, 2.5mg of Celexa... It is insane.
The fact that I can no longer tolerate an SSRI is very strange considering the fact that I took one for several years. Yes? As soon as I finished my Celexa taper I tried a new one and I couldn't handle it. Since then I have been banging my head up against the wall trying them to get on any one of them over and over and over again. What on earth happened?
I desperately need to get stabilized on a medicine, but I have been trying unsuccessfully for 3 miserable years now to do so because of what I mentioned above. I am not able to work or go to school and my functioning has been all but reduced to zero. I am persistently suicidal and living in utter misery. My OCD is out of control. And on top of all that I am still suffering from benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.
I am hoping that someone on this forum has had a similar experience and might be able to offer some advice on what medicines I might consider other than the SSRIs as they seem to not be an option for me. Please keep in mind my diagnoses of OCD and major depression.