Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: I better leave before I mess up the study » SLS

Posted by JadeKelly on November 10, 2008, at 20:18:57

In reply to Re: I better leave before I mess up the study, posted by SLS on November 10, 2008, at 6:49:13

> > ...I think that when some people are deeply depressed enough, as with myself, their thinking is that it doesn't matter if they are not "certain that nothing would ever work." It can seem unlikely enough that it makes it feel not-worthwhile to hope, and it at the very least *feels* like hope is illogical.
>
> Yes, I know. Another thing that kept me going was that I felt that moving forward was the best available choice. It was positive and constructive. In other words, although I often felt trapped and doomed by depression, I did not consider ending my life without trying just one more time... Suicide was not a very logical option to me. What made that clearer in my mind were my spiritual beliefs as to what death is.
>
> So yes, I have experienced things in the way you describe. I believe it helps me remain empathetic and understanding of the pain and misery, the frustration and demoralization, the quandary of suicide, and the feeling that I might be fooling myself to think I would one day get well, thereby making the suffering worthwhile. I am supremely lucky. Now, I have to grieve for and integrate in my mind and heart the years that have been lost. From ages 17 to 48, I experienced every conscious moment as a living death. I have certainly put in my dues to still have a sense of commiseration with those who are not yet well, and are themselves navigating their way through the endless maze of the walking dead.
>
> I understand how lucky I am, even though I truly earned and worked for my recovery from bipolar depression through medical research, consulting with numerous doctors, creative problem solving, and detailed observation. I always had the support of people on Psycho-Babble. For this, I am also grateful.
>
> It was pure logic that prevented me from ending my own life, even when every feeling I had was to escape forever the pain and frustration. I don't expect people to "feel better" just because I tell them it is logical to have hope. I am simply trying to convey that Hope does not have to be blind. I had sighted Hope. I saw untried possibilities. Only with the continuation of life would I be able to try these possibilities.
>
> EVERYONE has their breaking point. I reached mine on more than one occasion. Thank God for the unity I felt here for so many years and the amazing friends that I have had.
>
> Enough Babbling for now.
>
>
> - Scott

Nice post Scott!

~Jade
>
>


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:JadeKelly thread:861557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081106/msgs/862155.html