Posted by yxibow on October 25, 2008, at 12:43:30
In reply to lonely, posted by sam K on October 25, 2008, at 12:14:35
> I hate my life alot of the tiem... I cant seem to get on the right track. I have no friends, nor do I have any motivation to get out and do so because I feel like I will fail. I feel like I will be boring, not interesting, say stupid things, be uncomfortable, wish I was someone or something else. What the **?? Im taking Pristiq with lithium and I feel a bit blah. Unmotivated, scared. I dont feel like facing my fears. I cant stand my life, Im just so lonely. I used to have soo many friends, and now ZERO. I mean Im sure they will always like me but.... i hurt too much nemore. I just want out of this
Boredom is one of a many components of depression, its certainly a component of inactivity and I experience it as a collection of depressive feelings.
One has to remember these are feelings -- they're very real in your mind but they aren't necessarily what is actually going to happen -- I mean I remember saying things months or years ago is if someone would even remember what I said.
Gaining motivation is gaining self-esteem, and that sounds like something you really need a dose of. Its only done by doing, and the first thing is to just try to go out in public. Take a walk. Do the little things.
I don't like facing my fears, really I don't like facing life, my life. So I end up in my room or on the sofa or anywhere but breaking a cycle of severe depression (among other parts of a disorder which is causing it, but that's another story).
Its about learning acceptance where you are and the potential that you have inside yourself to improve your functionality and get out and enjoy yourself. Yes, if you don't nurture friends they may pass on, but there are other reasons -- people change friends all the time anyhow. There's no stone tablet that says you will always have the same friends.
You can try to contact the ones you knew before, and who knows, maybe you'll be surprised, but its about making new friends too, finding thing that you have in common with someone else, activity-oriented friendships.
I don't know if you're working at the moment but that's the other compelling thing to do, is to try to meet new people at work. If you are, you're ahead of the game for me. I'm still trying to get to that place.
But even if you're not, there are creative ways of having a conversation that don't have to embarrass you.