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Re: to yxibow » Jeroen

Posted by yxibow on September 10, 2008, at 5:14:54

In reply to Re: to yxibow, posted by Jeroen on September 10, 2008, at 3:42:12

> i think it was a week i took it 4-5 days and the side effect manual sais psychosis is a side effect
>
> accept it please
>
> also youve gone trough some nasty dyskinesia yourself

> i think it was a week i took it 4-5 days and the side effect manual sais psychosis is a side effect
>
> accept it please
>
> also youve gone trough some nasty dyskinesia yourself

If you read PIs, Jeroen, you can find anything. At that level, .1% to 1%, it can cause tinnitus, arthritis, leukopenia, hot flashes, halitosis, alopecia, increased salivation, and yes, psychosis, but we are talking about people with a PLASMA level.

4-5 days at 25mg would not build up any significant psychotropic plasma levels.

But if you insist that you have a secondary psychosis, I can't say further -- I'm not trying to be mean, but it doesn't follow. Please don't compare myself to you -- I have the "breakfast of champions" if you want to be perverse, of medications, at 8 of them currently. Concurrent use (polypharmacy) is more likely to produce unknown results. Simpler is always best but sometimes a number of medications have to be added.

Do I have heavy dysthymia or cyclothymia, probably the first. Do I have thoughts of suicide, yes. I'm afraid of death though (really that is a fear of life -- living, with whatever I have or don't have -- my hairdresser of 20 years has MS. Has she stopped?). And what would suicide do to my parents and my caregivers (my doctors) as well?

Yes, the tic and the fear of future success at the moment when medications are not quite titrated right and I need to work through psychological therapy more than medication therapy at the moment -- justly because I do have sensitivity to medication.


It is conceivable now that I have reached 20mgs of memantine, that at this plasma level caused some really wierd stuff to happen the other day. Or maybe it was the Amantadine (they're both noncompetitive NMDA antagonists) that I tried for my Tardive Dystonia [thats not dyskinesa] that boosted the NMDA system. Or maybe it was the conversation with my psychologist. Or maybe it was a blip in my disorder.


I have a streak running in my mother's side -- she has phobias and some depression, her sister has some slight depression and anxiety occasionally but the depression is due to circumstance, not the streak, and the third (aunt) that I did not know, committed suicide from what was probably BP-II (99% sure, never much further police investigation).


So I have the brunt of all of this. I was hospitalized at 17 for SEVERE OCD. And now I am fighting a disorder I never thought I would ever get.

And yes, I am sensitive to neuroleptics because I have an affective (mood) disorder.

But you have to see at various points I was on more than one medication -- clashes can happen.

The tics and the dystonia were RARE and unpredictable and I do feel very sorry for myself at times and wish I could go into oblivion, but what would that accomplish either? I have memory loss now from taking Valium, but that was after 4 years. Its being adjusted down and is a double edged sword.

In fact half my medications are double edged swords -- to realize the world as my unknown "orphan disorder" of visual somatiform and psychosis NOS (which does not mean psychotic in any way or I wouldn't be writing in this manner or style probably, no offense to anyone who is severly psychotic) ..... I would have to go down on medication which would mean I would have, yes, more symptoms, or maybe realizing the world would make me feel more "REAL", hammered with medications. Its all a very complicated dance.


You can't compare people -- I've noticed that on here and I'm not trying to create a vast generalization, but everyone is genetically different.


Sometimes doctors disagree with the patient.

Tardive dystonia, generalized as I probably have, is almost impossible to be diagnosed by a neurologist -- its worse with cold on my legs, yet I generally overheat and my body temperature is 97.5 -- maybe thats genetic, or maybe thats because I'm overweight.

Severe tardive dystonia causes torticollis and twisted necks and all sorts of other things which for that, neurologists CAN tell and may possibly be able to use things like bromocriptine and tetrabenazine (very cautiously).


Tardive dystonia, which in some cases will remit only for 10% of patients, is NOT tardive dyskinesia and while it is not a pleasant thing, it has more palleatives, including the very Seroquel I'm taking, and probably the Valium, and maybe I'm experiencing it more now with less Valium. Heaven knows.


The tic is not Tardive. That was confirmed. The only treatment mentioned was Clozaril because Seroquel may aggravate it. We never got there because the Valium level is at a crossing point (you can't take much of any benzodiazepines with Clozaril). It may be intertwined also with the psychological things that accompany my disorder.


No, I don't like having a "red light" on me that turns on when I am angry at someone or anxious -- that is, the tic happens. Its probably not good for my teeth -- I have a night guard but I'm afraid of loosing it with my short term possession displacement, etc, memory now.


But thank goodness, no, there is no dyskinesia. Yes, I worry about that with Seroquel (about 0.1% chance, who knows with me) -- yet I need it now or I couldn't put on a belt or drive my car because of the underlying anxiety and perhaps how many years I took the Seroquel and the phase of the moon (sorry for the crassness).


So its hard to figure how to reduce that and not cause havoc of my personal daily life that while I don't feel connected to other people, I am capable of a lot of things and there is a intelligent mind waiting to be free again and much happier.


In conclusion -- yes, you can insist, as the patient (or as NAMI prefers, consumer) that you have some semi-permanent condition caused by Lamictal.

I do insist I have some form of dystonia, be it tardive or not. In fact I have a double dystonia because I still have some neurological "memory" of dropping a benzo a decade ago when I didn't know the consequences and the people who treated me did not give me back what I needed immediately.


I know when I wasn't on Seroquel recently that 100mg of Seroquel melted away it on my legs -- so is that a litmus test for TDy -- it could be. Tics do not go away as much at my age (30ish) as they do at around 18.


I can't say any more about the Lamictal but if you read the PI you will just obsess about it more, if I can comment about it, just as I obsess about my tic. Its there. So are people with MS or missing a leg have REAL things happening, just as the somatoform things I feel are real, though not organic. But somehow people go on. I hope I go on too and I sincerely hope you do also.

This isn't a lecture, I understand -- well nobody can say "I understand your pain" -- that's a cliche and unfair, but I understand your distress and how you want to get back to where you were. But sometimes we look back with rosy lenses (that's an Americanism) at the past. We live in the Here and Now.


-- much wishes

Jay

 

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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:yxibow thread:850498
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080903/msgs/851292.html