Posted by Quintal on March 28, 2008, at 13:54:06
In reply to HOCD, posted by FredPotter on March 27, 2008, at 22:51:53
I wonder why? I think this a phase a lot of young men go through when they're finding their adult identity. I remember reading somewhere that young men 18-28 were the most strongly homophobic, and this was something to do with defining the boundaries of their sexual identity. Obviously the last thing young heterosexual men want to be seen as is gay, hence the aggressive boundary marking, at least until the hormones settle.
Alledgedly most people have some degree of latent homosexuality, so perhaps that is what's bothering him? I remember being fondled by at least two of my male friends during puberty. I suppose they were just going through a phase. Curiously I was going through a heterosexual phase at the same time so never took advantage, and it's something I've regretted ever since. I know a few boys did indulge at least as far as mutual masturbation though. It was clear one pair of best friends had fallen in love at one point - I remember them gazing adoringly into eachothers eyes in English one summer's day. Presumably they all went on to be normal heterosexual blokes after puberty had finished its course.
Has he considered the possibility that he's bisexual rather than gay? Maybe he could reassure himself that a man who is attracted to women can't be gay, although he may be bisexual if he also finds himself attracted to other men. As a gay man I'm really curious about where the boundaries of heterosexual men lie. I tend to think of men as having a sort of pan-sexuality, or global sexuality, where almost anything with a hole looks sexually attractive after a certain point. I could imagine having sex with a woman, and sometimes I find my penis sort of throbs when I look at some of the women on page 3 and it annoys me since I'm about as strongly attracted to men as you can get. So if I can do that I'm sure a similar thing must happen to heterosexual men from time to time. I wonder if this is what's bothering your son? Casting a seed of doubt into his mind? Sounds as though he might have inherited your tendecy towards anxiety and this is what he's found to fix it on.
Q
poster:Quintal
thread:820256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080316/msgs/820342.html