Posted by yxibow on December 3, 2007, at 0:38:13
In reply to anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
> I feel terrible , told mom to forget about me , she could be happy with my brother and her next grandson.
And in the end, you could take her with you too -- parents are not normally supposed to outlive their children, no matter what, except by natural causes or acts of god.
> I just want to die now. I am thinkin very strong in it.
> dont wanna call anybody , just rest in peace
> dont know why im posting this sh*t , i ve been in my bed the whole weekeend
You're very depressed, that would not surprise me, and perhaps have some avoidance anxiety because facing living is actually tougher than death. But what a glory if you could master it.
> i wanna close the door of the kitchen take seroquel and my bed there and sleep,and before that open the
> gas door so the CO2 kills me while sleeping,
> no suffering like this
> i really want to do it , im tired
> i had planned this in the past but I never do nothing, you may think I just wanna call your attention
> I dont have noone to talk now,maybe that is why im posting this stupid thing
I think you have hit your head on the nail, you need other people to talk to, I mentioned groups that are associated with NAMI in Mexico which is where I believe you are but I can't help further if you aren't willing to describe or I am clueless and you've already discussed this. Irrelevant anyhow, you need some social love now.
> maybe I shoudl take risperdal or and OLD AP maybe the sedation would help me
People who want to commit suicide really want to just escape their problems. Its painful to endure them. Its equally painful to endure cancer, MS, being in a wheelchair, bad vision, and a whole list of things, but you know what, all of the above people are -living-. Because what choice besides what you are proposing do we have. Rare disorders, mental illness, are just among the things we can be struck with in life. Life never came with any guarantees. But there is 1) always hope 2) always someone out there who will love you if you work hard enough and 3) always the pursuit of the hardest thing to realize is that life from the very beginning is wondrous yet fatal. That still doesn't stop people from living it to their maximum capabilities. What can you lose instead by grabbing it by the cajones, if you'll pardon my phrasing, and trying. Trying very hard, making yourself proud, feeling the hurt and growing because of it.
I can't describe it in any other fashion -- but if you have something imminent, a hospital is really the only place or at least an outpatient facility. There are a lot of people here who obviously care about you and you need more than just virtual people to grow on and with.
"Look to this day For it is life, the very life of life. For yesterday is but a dream And tomorrow is only a vision But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness And tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day Such is the salutation of the dawn." -- Kalidasa