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can't do anything

Posted by iforgotmypassword on October 19, 2007, at 13:00:28

i need to do something as soon as possible or i will lose my housing. i am living with flies and garbage everywhere. they fly on my face as i sleep. i keep my computer in my bed. i have akathisia, stiffness and wierd facial tension, feelings in my skin, and muscles causing me to hunch and scruch my face. i can't focus on anything, thinking, talking, the steps of doing anything. this post. feeding my cats. keeping clean. changing clothes. i still have my dad, who does everything for me. he makes sure i eat. but he can't help me with my living area, and neither can anyone as i am extremely protective, and cannot process anyone being there or doing anything there. officially likely, i fall into the symptoms of the hoarding ocd syndrome, unless it is a part of negative symptoms.

i am trying to deduce what it is even to treat in my brain. i have no emotions or mood. i have made approximate guesses of clusters, that it could be a negative symptoms syndrome, but not schizophrenia, a dysthymia/cognitive-chronicfatiguesyndrome, with motor problems, glycemic oversensitivity (insulin resistance?), the lack of cognitive salience as goldstein (CFS doc/author) describes, lack of ability to take in my surroundings.

recent admission estimated possible diagnosis scribbled: "major depressive disorder vs. OCD vs. psychotic disorder NOS"

ECT did not help long term, maybe even did not do anything short term... i respond well, a bit, to lorazepam. i can flow, am no longer as clogged. but it has its own problems. trying year-old xanax again now, no effect really. lamotrigine helped a bit i think, the times i tried it, i don't remember how much it helped tho, and dosing was always hard to interpret.

was thinking of trying it again (lamotrigine) with a benzo, low-dose, lorazepam, if it really is the best...? clonazepam, that other CFS doctor recommend. i really don't even know what to look at at all. feels like i have looked at everything. if i really want to try amisulpride, it feels like i would need a gun to pull to really be listened to. i am very dismissable in conversation. even when i can talk, i am never able to lead a conversation. even if its about me and my fate. i have no idea what to do. what medication to consider now?

is this a dopamine or GABA/glutamate thing? autoreceptors?


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poster:iforgotmypassword thread:790118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071019/msgs/790118.html