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Re: dopaminerequiem

Posted by dopaminerequiem on August 23, 2007, at 17:59:41

In reply to Re: dopaminerequiem, posted by cumulative on August 23, 2007, at 15:14:55

> >I <b>will</b> relapse into anorexia if my weight starts climbing
>
> Tried CBT?

I'm in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

I've been drug-free for eight months, at a stable weight for ten months, free of self-injury for ninteen months, and my last hospitalization was nearly two years ago.

This is the first time in twelve years that I have not had some kind of self-destructive behavior. And it makes it even harder now that I'm severely depressed. I used to be able to numb it all away with some maladaptive coping technique. I haven't felt like this in over a decade, because I was either severely drug addicted or severely anorexic. My depression actually prompted me to start those behaviors. Drugs worked and anorexia worked and meds and therapy didn't work [at least traditional CBT didn't work]; so what if I was slowly killing myself? Better than the quick way, I reasoned.

My psychiatrist is also my therapist. She has saved my life more times than I can count. I'm not even sure if I'm not relapsing right now because I want to be in recovery from all of those behaviors or because of her, despite her vacation (which, to a borderline, is always a traumatic event).


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poster:dopaminerequiem thread:777910
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070815/msgs/778136.html