Posted by smpayne69 on July 21, 2007, at 23:12:30
In reply to Re: How I beat RLS and discovered ADD., posted by linkadge on July 21, 2007, at 19:36:48
There are obviously many different reasons for chemical embalances in the human brain, which manifest a complete spectrum and symptoms, and disorders. But, are they human disorders, or disorders created by our current society?
We see so many brutal murders in every century of known existance. Is this simply the lower brain functions of our primary animal instinct, or is it a chemical deficiency within the 'like/want/learn' zones? Or, are they both one in the same, but the deficiency is driven by society repressing the natural hunt/survive/reproduce instinct? What do you think would happen if going forward we were no longer able to engage in sexual activity? Now push that out over a couple thousand years. How do you think our minds would react? Would we have to go on a drug that decreased sexual desire? In fact, there are research centers right now designing such meds that do that very thing to control individuals with overwhelming sexual desire...most of them are found in society's prison system.
Looking at the deliberate complexity of the brain, and the very mysteriuos mind, I have had difficulty believing that our chemical brain is really in line with the 'societal mind'. So where does the decision lay regarding what chemical can and should be adjusted. We all know and agree that we are just starting to really delve into this issue, so we ourselves are ultimately responsible to explore and understand 'what' is really going on within our own brains by using our minds logically and intelligently.
So, to finally get to my point, over the past couple years of extensive research and determination, I have found out what MY issue is. My little book here online is more for inspiration for people to take the time to really use their own minds to understand their current state.
Mine was very simple, however, if I had my time back I could have saved myself a load of mysery. Logging every aspect of my life for a little over 6 months prior to my stupid Opiate test, I transfered the data to a small model I put together that simply bumped up against the basic human functions, ie desire, need, and concentration. Now, understanding that these 3 elements break down into a myrid array of sub functions. But, my goal was to go to basics.
So, using these functions, what did I know for sure about myself? Did I have Desire? Not really; and it has effected my life since grade school. I had to struggle to complete assignments, do a job that I initially had a tremendouse amount of interest in, but lost interest very fast. So I tagged that as a - standing on the desire scale. My model was set to a positive if I felt that I did not have an inherent issue with that aspect of my 'mind'. For, me being the armchair theorist that I am, I believe the mind can reflect the brain if all chemicals are in sync...which drive amazing focus, sense of well being, and a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. All, as you can see tie back to my basic model functions (Desire, Need, and Concentration).
I then addressed the second point, 'Need'. Was I easily addicted to things that gave me pleasure? Yes, for sure! I would drink quite a bit, and loved to gamble, and a little parfinalia. I put this as a (-) also. Studies have shown for some time now the addicts lack the proper management of the reward / pleasure funtion. Animals such as lions exude extreme amounts of love and affection for each other in a pact after a kill and meal. Large amounts of the brains natural Opiates are released by the proper level of dopamin receptors that manage the process. Very seldom do we see a lion's pleasure center out of wack and kill everything in site because it's addicted to that feeling. It simply gets exactly what it needs based on the Desire to get the reward from hunting and eating.
Concentration for me, or lack thereof, only occured in the past 10 years. If I really wanted to learn something new, whether the desire stuck or not, I could probably recite a complete lecture back word for word (incidentally, thats where I am back to now that God!) I would have never had the attention part of concentration to sit and write anything this long. lol! So, as stated prior, I got sick of not being 'engaged' in my life anymore, so forced the desire to learn about what the hell is going on with me. Adding another (-) to my model gave be a negative charge, or tendency in my brain forcing everything down.
I believe humanity is a balance of all sciences and Buddism, being mind and thought. So, enter the Optiat test.
I wanted to see what it felt like to artificially boost the level of Opiats in my brain. I got this idea from one of the Dali Lama books I read that a aged Buddist belief is that addiction is simply recovery out of control. With this in mind, logging new information as to how I felt against my model about a week into it. So, you guessed it. With the Opiate levels boosted, I felt great! Was engaged, had a desire to sit and learn, was much more patient with people. I really felt like I 'belonged and contributed' for lack of better terms. So, this was my mind telling me that my brain just experienced something that has not occured for some time...like a really good memory. Studies have clearly shown that under the initial influence of Opiat drugs, many contimplate doing stuff they haven't for years! That, I believe is the mind telling us that it's about damn time you woke up!
So, then came withdrawal. Of course there would be withdrawl, but not just chemically. You brain adjusts to the change in chemical balance, so we may feel mild to severe physical symptoms depending on the level of medication abuse, but your psycological side is screaming depression from many aspects, one mainly being the fact that you lost the sense of balance that you lost for so long, and most try hard to get it back. And.... re-enter the wonderful world of addiction, which can never be satisfied with a mind that is not trained to say STOP! You are already where you need to be!.
Upon getting completely off the Opiat meds, I reviewed my model to see where I stood. Keep in mind, I have only touched on the details of the model I used. I plugged in many known and suspect symptoms of neurochemical imbalance, such as RLS, ADD, ADHD, Parkensens, etc... As I stated in my last post, I learned at a basic level the art of meditation, so I studied the model in great detail and contimplated in meditation as to what were extenal effects; like, do I REALLY like my choice of profession? Did I like where I lived? Keeping in mind, that I would have to be very clear about the answers...for example, If I did not like where I lived now, would I like it anywhere else? The answer was it didn't really matter where I lived, comparitively.
With what I knew from personal exploration, research of top scientists in the field, and wisdom from the inner mind of those that spend a lifetime contimplating the mind, I found and understood what was out of wack in myself. I believe, for some reason that I really don't know...could be a question for a genesist or Freud, the natural balance of primary chemicals, namely Dopamine and Serotonin where lower than require to function happily in today's society. I may have been the happiest most successful cowboy in the wild west a couple hundred years ago, but I am out of phase right now. I believe a lot of us are. Some find balance through years of inner focus. Some find balance in the dedication and perserverience of those with chemical levels of a different mix...such as Eienstien and the most respected Chemists that have taken from the earth and created the suppliment to balance our inner beings. Which ever way, the means to do it have been given to us by everything earthly and that of which is already present within ourselves. Addiction and Greed and simply hungers for a feeling that was once and with guidance that can be controlled. However, the brain being an extremely complication and mysterious entity within ourselves, we have to tred very softly and slower with adjust those very critical chemicals. Otherwise Ernie eats all of Berts cookie, and we see massived back and forth fluctuations as seen in Scitzofrenia and similar disorders.
So, with my 100mg of Sertraline (Zoloft) and 25mg of Adderal, I am writing books and completing projects, walking the dogs, confidently speaking, and no RLS! yay! I also understand that if I drop off of ANY chemical that changes the chemical makeup of my brain, I will feel it. But using your mind and logically thinking the entire process through, we have to constantly keep our selves in check. I do not believe I will ever have to increase the dosage. I truly beleive that those who continue to increase the dosage, are those that lose site of the overall benifits, and only focus on the initial elation of first feeling the positive effects of the change. If you keep a journal, as I do, when I have a down day I flip it open. Believe me, a good feelings return very quickly. Just try to completly lose the memory of the initial positive and focuse on what you are doing today.
Certain drugs are designed to do certain things. I was very adament in seeking a medication that did not 'add' chemicals to the system. Only those meds that altered the communication between them so they were not speaking jiberish to one another and missing the beat. The addition and retraction of chemicals into the brain will cause a much more severe withdrawl and negative impact than a med that assists in communication and management.
Wake up and pay attention!!! :)
SMPayne
poster:smpayne69
thread:770756
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070719/msgs/771071.html