Posted by Bonnie_CA on May 10, 2007, at 12:39:22
Self doubt and guilt has been a part of my life as far as I can remember. When medications work, it's great because I don't carry those heavy emotions. I can't wait to up the dose of Lamictal in a couple weeks. I think it's been helpful in extinguishing those gut wrenching feelings, but at times I've still been having those feelings. They disappear with a benzo, but it's something that I wonder if I will ever really conquer. It's probably self doubt that has degenerated my trumpet playing. Then I'm guilty about it and blame myself. Same thing with teaching. I throw a kid out of my class, and then I have the self doubt, like there was something I could have done. Then I feel guilty, and I know I really shouldn't. I am seeing a therapist about it, but I just want to know what others do about it. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has these feelings. You end up sitting at home feeling depressed because you feel so guilty and doubt everything you do. It's really a terribly feeling. And at times, conciously, I know it's not that bad, and that I did the right thing, but it's hard to shake the feelings.
-Bonnie
poster:Bonnie_CA
thread:757468
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070509/msgs/757468.html