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He always makes a way where there seems to no way JerryPharmStudent

Posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 9, 2007, at 9:53:50

In reply to Re: What can we do to help? UgottaHaveHope, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 7:48:32


I know what you mean by your mom. My mom is the most wonderful and compassionate person in the world, but speaking to her about anxiety and depression is like talking Chinese. So has no concept of it because she has been blessed to not suffer it from a clinical standpoint. I have to admit myself, before I went through this in 1997, I thought emotional issues of others were "all in their heads." Boy was I was humbled, and TOTALLY WRONG. And there have been other family members who "make fun of me" or say "I am faking it" just to get attention. But you know what? As you find out in life, everyone is dealing with some issue, whether it is anxiety, depression, alcoholic, workaholic, relationship problems, no self-esteem, bad childhood, sickness, emotional abuse, sexually abused as a child, etc. I could on and on forever, but this is about your situation. However, I do want to say one thing: You will never be able to control the thoughts and perceptions of others, only yourself.

BACK TO YOU: The FIRST STEP is finding out a way to begin the process of getting public assistance, or even temporary help from a local church or charity. Usually in small towns, this could be easier to locate. And if not, we'll have to look at a bigger town nearby. One thing is for sure: YOU WILL QUALIFY FOR BENEFITS. There is no doubt about it! BUT you have to either start calling people today OR let one of us help you calling them for you. I don't know whom to call either, but if you send me an email ( with your basic contact info, then I will start calling people around your town.

I care, as do many others. You have a great heart, and no one wants to see you waste a wonderful life for a temporary problem. You've helped so many on this board and have so much to give back to others. Youve just got to take control of your thoughts right now, and find any distraction to keep your mind off yourself. Watch of listen to something inspirational. Watch your favorite comedy movie.

Another thing I would urge you do, as hard as it will be because of your pain, is to find a way to get outside. THE IDLE MIND IS THE DEVIL'S WORSHIP. When you have time alone, your mind tends to focus on yourself. When alone, you can drive yourself crazy by obsessing about your sitation. When you focus on yourself, it makes all your problems magnified and 100 times worse. Just try to make it to the public library. Or a park. I beg you to muster every ounce of strength to make it outside, but if you cannot maybe someone can visit you.

Honestly, what I would really love for you to is to go to some type of emotional support group. There, you will find out others who feel the same way you do. I know in small towns, and big towns, they do not have these. Perhaps you can go sit in at an AA meeting as a guest. I find those incredible, because most of the people in there were onetime at wit's end, and and have been able to create better days with the support and encouragement of others. I would guess (and this is what I have seen and could be different other places) many of those AA people have the same emotional problems many of us do on this board, anxiety and depression, and just self-medicated with booze rather than take an SSRI. I know every town has AA meetings all the time. I live in a small town, and they have an AA meeting going on somewhere every day during the afternoon and at night. When I went to an AA meeting here, I was shocked to see half the "important people" that ran this town (school principals, doctors, etc.). They told the group how they were often suicidal, wished they weren't alive, but sought out help and now JUST TRY TO MAKE IT THROUGH TODAY rather than think about the nexy day or week or future. Which is what you have to do: Make it just through today. Plus in AA, you have sponsor that you can call 24/7 for emotional support. They even have this thing that if you are really struggling, they will send you to a farm for six months to gather your mind and be around others who will inspire you. (I am not trying to advertise AA at all, but I did want to give you an example of a support group and some of the services they provide. I suffer GAD anxiety, and often thought about faking being an alcoholic so I could join AA). Bottom line: Help is out there.

There are also churches. Call every one in town. Many offer emergency counseling, and once you get in there you can explain your need for temp financial help while you secure benefits. YOU HAVE TO LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU NEED HELP SO THEY CAN HELP YOU. Heck, I'd be willing to bet if you call one of these places they will know someone who had to go through the same thing as you and apply for SS benefits. Then they could either direct you to that person or whomever helped that person.

There is also the Salvation Army. The reason I mention them is because they help out a lot of people with emotional issues and could provide you with guidance of other organizations in your town and state that provide immediate assistance in cases of emergency. Call the local hospital or major medical clinic and see if they know about any group meetings for people who are overweight. As I am sure you know, many of those people who are overweight aren't that way naturally, they may use food as a way of finding temporary pleasure when life becomes difficult. Surely there is a Weight Watchers somewhere and you can go to one of those as a guest. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU GO TO ONE OF THESE GROUPS (AGAIN, AA IS EVERYWHERE, TO KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE, EVEN IN A SMALL TOWN).

You just have to start taking small steps, whether it is making these calls yourself or asking one of us on this for help.

FINALLY, you have to know that there are others in here that have fallen to these same depths or worse. Probably even homeless people that may or may not be on this board. But they all hung in there, took it one day at a time, and made it back. You can too. You just need to take those first steps and reach out for help. Michael




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