Posted by jealibeanz on November 10, 2006, at 0:20:39
In reply to Re: Adderall caused depression, should I try Concerta?, posted by lymom3 on November 6, 2006, at 7:42:27
Yeah, it's definitely something to think about, especially if Focalin is "cleaner". Most likely it would have fewer adverse effects that Ritalin or Concerta, not that I've taken either. But I'd like something effective, yet mild. I tend to be very sensitive to side effects, both physically and mentally.
I'm really desperate right now. My semester ends December 15. My academics are slowly going downhill. I'm not even worried about the grades. It bothers me that I'm not learning information I need to know. I tend to be a better test taker in comparison to others, so my lack of understanding/studying isn't as apparent as it could be. If I have one exam below 75, I'm over my school's retake limit (we have two per semester). Plus, I need an 80 average in each class to pass. I'm right on the border of all disciplines.
I might just do something dumb... self medicate. I have a few Straterra pills left in my apartment. I think I have one refill. This would be enough to get me through finals. I'd be starting at 60 mg, which is higher than my starting dose of 40, but it's what I've got. It'll make me sick at first, but oh well.
I never thought Strat did much in terms of acute/fine focus, but did help with life organization, currenty my lack of daily skills/organization allows my no needlessly waste what little free time I had in the day wandering and achieving nothing. So there's no time to study even if I could focus well on notes.
Maybe combining it with a stim would help. I also probably needed to go up to more than 60 mg, since the effects were definitely not apparent in the later months. I'm already on Provigil though, and have anxiety issues. It's hard to adequately balance everything.
Haha, I realize this isn't the best of ideas, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm away at school and can't actually get in to see my doc until after finals are done.
Now, I could get around this by asking for special permission from my school to leave to see my doctor. We're nevvvver allowed to miss class. Doctor's appointments? No way, suck it up and be tough people! But they might bend. I could actually tell them the situation, about the ADHD, and that it's pretty apparent that if I don't start on meds ASAP, I won't pass. (or not and just hope they respect me as a person enough to not force me to disclose personal medical information just to take a few hours off from school)
It's not as if they don't realize I have some academic difficulties, despite being very capable and intelligent. And they certainly wouldn't be shocked about the condition. I'm pretty classic inattentive with my forgetfullness, disorganization (I basically carry everything I own to class and just throw things randomly on my table and floor. They spew in all directions, while I try to decide what I need at the moment.), inadventently missing appointments, failing to turn in records which they alawys ask me for, constant confusion, and little oddities of living in my own ADHD world. The only way I can pay attention (or not, due to boredome, is to fidget), I swing in my chair, twirl pens, play with silly putty, color/draw, which is now extremely obvious since a classmate brought in crayons! It sounds terribly immature, but my symptoms have been exacerbated due to the increased repsonsibility, stress, and lack of life structure. I do these quite activities to help focus, and not swing toooo wildly in my chair!
My next appointment is in the beginning of January. I could wait til then or schedule one as soon as I get home to confess! That way I don't prolong the issue and have time to work on a better med plan to adjust to before next semester.
I'd obviously tell my doc what I did, and why I did it. I actually stopped the Straterra months ago in effort to remedy insomnia. When I started back up on the same dose, I felt sick/depression, so I again took myself off. He wasn't terribly concerned since it was during a 3 week break from school. Also, I think he considers my ADHD to not be terribly bad, since I'm intelligent, and always appear very clear thinking and well put together in the office. I guess I'm just ashamed to let him know what it's really like. He's now gonna get a glimpse at those struggle just by the fact that I started taking medication that made me slightly sick and depressed!
Oh course he won't think it's wonderful that I mess with my meds, but he'd never make me feel bad about it like most docs would. He'd be understanding and sympathetic about the fact that I was really struggling and didn't know what else to do. Of course he knows what med schools like! Especially if you have preexisting conditions.
I could call him, but this isn't even a condition I'm currently treated for, so I just don't feel comfortable making him treat me over the phone. Although he would and would go out of his way to do so. (an absolutely wonderful man, although not the most organized/perceptive guy... hehe, I know he's got ADHD... combined and severe!) If I told him I had a problem, he'd do everything in his power to help. He's become very protective of me lately, like he's fostering me as a mentor as well as being my own physician.
He wants nothing but the best for me, and would feel horrible if I came back and told him I was asked to leave due to academic difficulties, since he himself has treated me for ADHD. And I just saw him last week. I know I need to be proactive in telling him there's a problem. But realistically, instead of us just chatting about the fun parts of school and my future, he probably should have asked how I'm doing academically because it's not something I want to come forth with. That's part of their job, anticipating things that may be occuring in the patients life, but aren't too difficult to talk about without prompting.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:700765
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061104/msgs/702202.html