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Re: Complex hallucination -yxibow » yxibow

Posted by bimini on October 25, 2006, at 8:35:35

In reply to Re: Complex hallucination - bimini - yxibow » xbunny, posted by yxibow on October 25, 2006, at 5:44:50

Wow, I'm learning alot from you all.
I'm not a LSD user. Don't have burning eyes but feel pressure behind eyes from time to time, lasting several hours up to a day or two.
Now, with real and altered worlds: I remember how the world used to look and wondered if I would get so used to this, and eventually adapt as much, to forget how real was like. I remember details of illusions and dreams more than everyday experience. I am annoyed and get angry at how hard it is to function, yet curious to find reasons why particular associations occur.

I have lost at least one marble, that is what I call the hole in the back of my brain. Can't afford therapy, have trouble paying for the medication. Talking to you is my therapy, support groups have mended what some of my doctors destroyed; had such bad experience with doctors early in recovery my trust has been irreperably damaged.

My world view has changed. Don't feel connected to 'normal', don't get why people do what they do, don't get why I enjoyed doing those same things before. The world sped up without me and I don't care to try to catch up. Can't do it, so the world will just have to slow down for me. But I'm making an effort to remain active socially even though that is exhausting, sometimes takes week or more to recover. Can't work a regular job, with a lot of push and shove started my own business, work 2 -3 hrs a day now. Learned to break things down to little chunks so everything isn't so overwhelmingly difficult. And forcing myself to keep a routine. Declutter my life. Rearrange location of lighting at home. Set limits to everything with a timer and change location, activity, focus. Collecting tools to function.

Don't know Seroquel, my problem was hypersomnia. Slept like a rock for 12 hrs, up to 16 hrs when active. Never quite awake, already exhausted 2-4 hours after waking up. Effexor made everything worse, chunks went missing, didn't know how I got from one place to another. Vision stuttered like strobe lights.
Now I'm taking Lamictal and sleep way more efficient ~9 hrs, and Provigil to stay awake and alert throughout the day. Valium might turn me into Snow White.

How did you get into this side of reality? Did it happen suddenly? Can you pinpoint an exact date or event that caused the change?
I have thought a lot about that. What other events could have contributed. Viral infections, more viral infections, other concussions I didn't take serious...

I hope you will find therapy helpful. I probably would if the therapist lived with a brain injury also. Explaining so someone understands remotely is so exhausting to me, something I rather avoid than seek. The real help I got came from people with similar difficulties.

Hugs, bimini


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061020/msgs/697576.html