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Hell just hit

Posted by Rjlockhart on October 23, 2006, at 19:55:28

I just got prescribed dextroamphetamine 40mg and my mother found it and took it away 2 days later which she knew there was something diffrent about me because she is almost a narc, my pupils where dialated, i was staying up very late, she asked are you on something? next day she went to my car and searched it and found it. Like i said if she found it, she would go crazy, she did. I was completely devesteated, i went to the doctor and went out of my time to help myself, because of my grades, and she sabotaged it. There is so much that has happened, fights, yelling, fighting doesnt help especially with my mom, even though i let her HAVE it in means of yelling at her, it didnt do any good.

I just lost my paycheck from the GAP. i dont know where it is.

I am struggling in courses harder than ever.

I cant deal with reality right now, rihgt now i feel i have to go into a complete extasy feeling with my self (mania) to get out of this horrid horrid slump.

I have cried intensly, i have slept a full day being depressed. I just dont know what to do.

What i thought was going to work didnt.

I am in a very low state right now. But i am proud of myself, i went to class, gone to work, even though these thoughts miserise me.

Is there something i can do inside to change myself, like adaptation, or more than adaptation like growing from this bad experience?

I did think of suicide many days, but i will not give into that. I need to move on.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Rjlockhart thread:697094
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061020/msgs/697094.html