Posted by yxibow on October 22, 2006, at 17:58:04
In reply to Re: Complex hallucination » yxibow, posted by bimini on October 21, 2006, at 22:46:48
> Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
> Right, the pathways are blurred and ill defined. Normal MRI doesn't mean there is no open connection, normal EEG doesn't conclude the absense of electrical discharge.True, one could test me to the ends of the planet, I have had considerable tests, including a "normal MRI" which showed nothing other than what alkmost all people see on "normal" MRIs, namely evidence of past sinus ilnesses. I could have a PET or a SPECT scan, but these to date are largely research tools and don't really change the psychopharmacologists' approach to treatment.
>
> Do you see some colors more than others? Does the contrast increase to look like several layers of different colors around objects? (Like tension of a leaf on water.) Do you see the scratchies with eyes closed too? Do they move?I don't see the world in crayola or LSD intensity, but I don't fade completely to black or dark purple with my eyes closed. There's always something slight there even in lower light. Things have gotten much better with a medication plan after 5 years. And psychotherapy.
Mainly my issues are taillights and headlights are not what they should be. Traffic lights too, especially the new 200+ LED bulblets that have replaced the green and red lights for longevity in this part of the country. When things were early on, I could see computer flicker as high as 70Hz. 60Hz was atrocious, but now manageable.
Artificial lighting, metal halide and fluorescent lighting are not pleasant, especially the harsh ones in big box stores which make things look a bit surreal, but that has diminished but is not gone.
Basically mostly what I see, others could imagine seeing if they thought about it. The problem is my somatiform disorder, which may have been inherited from the hysteria I had after 9/11 (much greater than my peers), is not filtering out information. Everybody sees most all what I see, except it passes in a microsecond. If things are bad, I see palinopsia off a TV set in the dark, the TV set image to the left and right of the screen. That has also diminished with time, therapy, and medication.
The scratchies can be seen with breakthrough anxiety periods, mostly in darker rooms. Things in general get better in the morning and are worst by nightfall. Those have again gotten better. I used to look up at one of those typical sprayed stucco ceilings and see waves of lines running along them (oh, yes, patterns in carpets and the like were confusing too. Still there, diminished now too.)
>
> Had vision therapy with an optometrist for 7 - 8 months, that corrected multiple vision, almost as good as before. Learned so much about my visual system and comprehension.My opthamologist exam(s) (2) were all basically almost normal, the first was 20/20, the second one might have been 20/30 but that is statistical error. No optical nerve damage, normal nerves. The eye is the only part of the brain that can be seen from the outside by a practicioner without an invasive exam.
> Have not gone into much detail about hallucination during my 7 minutes with neuropsychiatrist.
>
> No occupational and limited physical therapy, couldn't pay for anymore than help with vision problems. Haven't lost my license for seizures. Doc asked if I could pull over and wait it out. I just stared at him incredulous. Optometrist said she didn't know how I can function at all the way I do, but also let me drive. Renewed license online and stay off the road as much as I can.
>
> I have improved alot. The brain does heal, but ahh so very slowly.It does... it heartens me to hear this all, but you are right it is a slow path to recovery, but people have recovered. Hope comes from within.
> bimini
I wish you much luck and love.
-- tidings
Jay
poster:yxibow
thread:696508
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061020/msgs/696839.html