Posted by Racer on October 18, 2006, at 1:50:19
Today I saw a fancy new psychopharmacologist. For those of you who remember what I went through a while back, you may understand why it was so rough for me. I sat there shaking in his chair, babbling randomly, etc. No doubt he thought someone had forgotten to mention the streak of idiocy...
Our marriage counselor recommended this guy. He seemed quite nice, gave a lot of the "right" answers on issues that concern me -- like he was adament that communication with my therapist was important, since she knows me better than he will. All to the good.
The bad? Well, stating my history is always hard. I just feel so pathetic, when I realize how screwed up I've been for how very long. That's not pleasant.
And I panicked when he started talking about drugs to try. Right now, we didn't get through the whole intake, so I go back again in a week. He says we need to start a serotinergic drug, and I suspect he's right. (I'd actually come to the conclusion I needed something serotinergic, but I don't want to go that direction -- from fear.) I panicked, and did cry, and told him I didn't want to go back to being fat, stupid, and constipated. He said it wouldn't happen -- because we'd stop it if it tried. I know he meant to be reassuring -- but, again, panic. There was no rational being in that room with him just then...
Anyway, for this week, I go back up to 450 Wellbutrin, continue Ritalin as needed. And next week, we talk -- probably SSRI, I'm guessing Zoloft... {sigh} I may have a few panicky posts here soon... Please forgive me while I take a vacation from the land of reason...
And now, speaking of which, to bed with me...
poster:Racer
thread:695729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061011/msgs/695729.html