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my experience

Posted by iforgotmypassword on October 3, 2006, at 3:23:03

In reply to Re: SSRI dopamine issues. » SLS, posted by Phillipa on October 1, 2006, at 22:25:22

i have movement problems with SSRIs, and after, as in to this day. most apparent is bruxism, daytime bruxism, does not meet the typical definition of bruxism as a night-time screeching grinding. this is during the day, nearly everyday, spontaneous horizontal gnashing. i have worn down my molars on one side doing this for years, but not the other. (the gnash leads to a sharp up direction on the one non-worn side, so my jaw just tends to slide back and forth back and forth where there it isn't stopped by the upturn and just stresses the already flat teeth.) it's like a nervous activity, it is often present with anxiety, but is also often not. (though slightly less often; it very often accompanies a "rigid" anxiety which i hope to try to explain...)

i have problems with rigidity that has consitent eerie feelings of being connected to the dopaminergic problems of not being able to initiate behviour. it's feelings of being both physical and mental are very difficult to describe, but i can only describe it as being paradoxically related to akithasia. it is very unnerving. going along with my feelings with my concentration, thought, and mood-like problems of feeling like my brain is setting like cement. it can be hell, and these half-in-stone half-intensely agitated states has had me get myself to the ER on more than one occassion. one most notably where i could not stop gaping my mouth open, i could tell myself to stop, and stop, but it would make myself extremely more agitated than letting the tense muscles just freeze into it. as soon as i would forget i was stopping the gaping i'd be doing it again. (similar to experience with my efforts to control the bruxism)

myclonic jerks, i have less and less of these now. they as with the bruxism started with paxil. paxil started most of these effects. initially the problems were shivering and akithisia. then the jerks came, and were noticable and notable to other patients on the ward but doctors just shrugged. i had multiple episodes of writing in my bed, unable to stop moving, feeling very desperate frantic and fast feelings of dread. i wonder if this is what other people experience as "wanting to crawl out of their skin" but i didn't experience that imagery. (i do get odd tactile electric skin anxiety VERY frequently though, again i compare this to akithisic feeling) i made multiple suicide attempts on paxil and one on celexa months before. i have never attempted suicide off of an SSRI.

BEFORE both of these, and its a problem thats been on again off again over the year and relates to the others, and one episode of luvox. it is the climbing of my face that happened before PAXIL, but now i suspiciously connect it to my early teen prozac use for a year or two. when i am doing something idle like reading or on the computer my sometimes facial muscles tense up and i can't stop doing these wierd smiles that make me look literally like a developmentally delayed person or demented old person masturbating or something. i don't mean to be ridiculous. but the facial movement (freezing positions) i get are ridiculous. and if i don't have the strength to keep myself on an activity during these, i writhe and cant stop moving. these have been more few and far between. but my last ER visit had more of the can't stop moving effects. (though different from others, with much less constant facial twisting and hunching over) years ago, a one-day LUVOX trial when i hadn't had ssris for a year threw me into one of these, and a friend called me and said i sounded terrifying on the phone and stayed with me on the phone all night.

really these problems are insane. usually they are just part of the day, but putting them all together is insane. especially because they make you feel like you are making the symptoms up when the doctors just shrug at you. THEN YOU SEE ON THE INTERNET SYMPTOMS STARTLING SIMILAR TO YOURS.

then, you don't know what causes them. it's pretty certain that SSRIs at the very least potentiate and grossly magnify the effects with me. PAXIL caused the onset of enough of them.

now to bring up multiple factors on what could all make me a case at risk for this, unlike most other people in some certain cases:

-as a kid diagnosed with both ADHD and asperger's by doctors who couldnt agree on anything... i was on stimulants off and on during my childhood. stimilant conditioning has known to do very strange things to a brain, especially when initiated during childhood. (i do have a pretty large head though.)

-extremely f--ked-up strong reactions to illicit drugs in my teens that no one else i knew shared. i would panic and go crazy sometimes, and be a babbling moron othertimes. in all cases, i was much more incapacitated that my friends and very difficult to handle.

-i show Lyme antibodies in my blood and a lot of my symptom presentations are eerily shared by many neurolyme sufferers (including parkisinonian-like movement problems.) at the same time, this is not a part of any intensely researched part of medicine, and many people end up in dead end situations where they just don't get well. it is also widely debated if the disease exists. if you check the debates though, anti-Lyme types seem to cling to disproven studies and bring a lot less impressive research to the table. ironically or not-so ironically, however, the CDC loves them. i don't understand their awkward politics, but i do get that they are pretty apathetic to anything they can classify as a "non-illness"... for example, like CFS or fibro.

-i collected and injested pesticide beads on several occasions as a kid from a neighbours lawn, and my dad worries about a chemical he heard was very dangerous in the last few years that treated the wood he made my sandbox out of as a kid. i spent years in the sandbox.

-I AM A PERSON THAT GETS BETTER UPON SSRI WITHDRAWL. ESPECIALLY PAXIL. this seems to have a pro-cholinergic mechanism, but i would not be surprised if it had dopaminergic effects as well. i was immediately more energetic, (and calm), and was for a few days actually on top of things. getting tasks really behind me, and feeling it for once. unfortunately they lasted at most a week. I KEEP LOOKING FOR MORE MEDICAL JOURNAL INFO ON THIS, IF ANYONE HAS ANY PLEASE SEND. I KNOW IT EXISTS. I WANT TO KNOW OF ANY RELEVANT CLINICAL TERMS. I HAVE A FEW ARTICLES COINCIDENTALLY ON SSRI-WITHDRAWL INDUCED MANIA, BUT THATS IT.

anyway, if you want more info on my experience that is it.

i have been trying to piece things together for years, cos not only my hunch of all these things being tied together AND WITH MY TERRIBLE CURRENTLY DISABLED FUNCTIONING AND ZERO-QUALITY OF LIFE. and everything i read seems to piece this together as well too. with the doctors shrugging at so much, you really find out that they really DO NOT KNOW everything... and really that isn't even their job. everything is a mess now, and no one has the job of giving answers it seems. its all up to you, the miserable restless and lifeless insomniac, and pubmed.


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poster:iforgotmypassword thread:690091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060927/msgs/691394.html