Posted by detroitpistons on May 20, 2006, at 13:29:23
The past couple of years, I've found that I have serious problems at work. I've been fired once and nearly fired twice, I've gotten a "below expectations" on a performance review, and I think I've conducted myself poorly with coworkers in the sense that I sometimes say anything that comes to mind related to work and the work environment (usually negative). I think often I make people uncomfortable with some of my comments. I can be very blunt, but I've always thought I just "tell it like it is."
In my current job and in my last job, I've been told that I'm disorganized, I ask the same questions repeatedly, I have trouble putting 2 and 2 together, and I'm very forgetful. Basically, they say I have a hard time drawing conclusions from 2 different things I've learned in the past if that makes any sense.
Let me say that I did very well in school, graduating with honors from both highschool and college, but I always had a hard time following directions. I was always asking other people, "what did she say?", "what are we supposed to do?". I usually didn't learn a lot from the classroom. I got around this by reading the textbook at home. Even then, it took me twice as long to do my homework and take tests than it did other students, but the results were still good. In some classes, however, I did pay attention reasonably well. I had to try very hard though, and this was only in classes which were interesting to me.
I also have a very hard time following movies with complicated plots.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar II. Bipolar disorder has a very high rate of comorbidity wih other mood and mental disorders. But the overlap of symptoms from depression/hypomania with ADD is also very high, so this is all very confusing. However, I think I've had these problems even when I was well/euthymic in terms of depression/hypomania.
I filled out Dr. Amen's questionaire.
http://www.oneaddplace.com/addcheck.htm
At the end, it says:
Dr. Amen suggests: "More than 20 items with a score of three or more indicates a strong tendency toward ADD. Items 1, 6, and 7 are essential to make the diagnosis."
I scored a 40, and I also scored high on 1, 6, and 7.
Nobody thinks I have ADD because I did so well in school. I found ways to get around my inattention and concentration problems because school was a very structured and straightforward environment.
The work world is different though. I can't adapt as well as I could in school. I feel that school was really my only crowning achievment in life, and that I've screwed up everything else.
I CANNOT afford to get any more bad performance reviews or get fired again. I simply have to pay the bills. I work in a professional environment. The more you change jobs and the more you get bad reviews (makes it difficult to get references), the bigger the hole you dig for yourself, and the lower your chances of achieving career success, in my opinion.
I feel like it's sink or swim. I don't want to take any more meds, but at the same time, I can't afford to fail at work for the obvious practical reasons.
I've scheduled an appointment next week with my pdoc and I'm going to print out Dr. Amen's questionnaire and bring it with me.
The biggest thing in my mind is, can you do well in school and still have ADD?
Please, if you can relate to any of this and if you have any insights, I would greatly appreciate any input you may have.
Thanks,
Marc
poster:detroitpistons
thread:646259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060520/msgs/646259.html