Posted by Enigma on May 11, 2006, at 12:50:56
Quick bio
Age: 37
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 170 (target for me is 165)
Sex: hopefully (just kidding, Male)
Occupation: software engineer on disability
Family: Married, 3 kids
Diagnosis: Severe atypical, treatment-resistant depression, some hypo-mania, possible partial OCD
Treatments: Tried most SSRI's, Nardil+Parnate, ECT (10 treatments), other psychotropics, with little to no success - mostly I just suffer from intense side-effects from meds and get no beneficial effect. (Nardil did help the depression though)
Also tried vitamins/minerals, fish oil, noni juice, and others to no avail.Current Status:
Finished 3 weeks of the 6mg/24h dose (still taking it). Been suffering from intense dibillitating fatigue for the same length of time (severe fatigue seemed to start 2 days before starting Emsam)
Anti-depressant effects obtained: Seem to have increased sense of humor (humor is 'normal' for me) and sex drive
Continuing problems:
Still very depressed. Having suicidal ideation, a great deal. At least 1-2 times each day, I'm so depressed that it's almost unbearable. I feel like knocking myself out with a mallet so I don't have to "feel" anymore, at least until I wake up.
"bed time" for me consists of manic type racing thoughts of every kind... Hopelessness, violence, fantasy, worry, stress, etc - most to all, unwanted.
I could easily lie in bed for 2 hours a night with my head spinning like this before falling asleep, just to wake up again in 20 mins for more thought racing.
Lunesta 3mg seems to be working great to stop the racing mind and get me to sleep. Klonpin 1mg seems to help too, but Lunesta works better for me.
I unfortunately need 11-12 hours a sleep a night, and still wake up exhausted. I might sleep more due to the fact I don't like being awake, and hence, depressed, so I hide in "dream land" as long as I can.
During the day, I'm generally exhausted, and can't get much done around the house. All house projects are on hold and have been for a long time.
Also, for some reason, even the slightest activity (like vacuuming a room) will cause me to sweat and need to go back to couch potato mode. Even a hot coffee or medium hot shower will cause me to sweat and keep sweating.
The sweating problem started with Wellbutrin and a couple other meds, but for some reason stayed with me, AND, got WORSE after dicontinuing those meds (beed off them for 1 year). This is very annoying to say the least. Not sure how I'm going to handle the summer, and sadly, I used to be very heat tolerant.
I go back to the doc in 2 weeks (I might move it up a week) and -try- to get the 12mg/24h dose (skipping over the 9mg/24h) dose. Tyramine restrictions do exist at these doses, but I could care less about that.
Oh yeah, on alcohol consumption. I force (seriously) myself to go out once every 1-2 weeks to hang and drink with ex-coworkers, aka "friends" .
I found drinking to be very difficult on Emsam. I can usually have a 4-6 drink during a night and be fine the next day. On Emsam, I usually get nausea (and other hangover symptoms) a few hours after starting to drink, lasting another 12+ hours, with headaches, etc. So, it's really NOT worth it.In other words, very bad hangovers. So, I'm going to try and quit drinking alcohol when I go out even though the few hours of drunkeness is a welcome (and needed) break from the depression.
Anyway, that's my update. I might have missed something here and there (like the daily headaches I get), but I hope this info helped someone.
Take care,
-(Dark) Enigma
poster:Enigma
thread:642628
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060510/msgs/642628.html