Posted by 4WD on February 1, 2006, at 22:57:16
In reply to is there a time to give up?, posted by reese7194 on January 31, 2006, at 17:48:19
Hi Reese,
By giving up, do you mean quit trying to fight the depression or do you mean suicide?
I have given serious thought to both options. I have been counseled to allow myself just to feel how I feel, even though to me, sometimes how I've felt has been unbearable. People have told me that fighting the depression (and in my case outright fear) just makes it worse. I don't know. I'm like Racer. I can't just sit there and let it be. It's too awful. But it does help me to accept that where I am is where I am supposed to be right now. And to trust that it will be better in the future.
If you mean suicide, well, I think anyone has the right to give up if the pain is unbearable and there is no hope of relief. The only thing that kept me from it at times, was the hope that the future might be better and not wanting to miss the rest of my life. Some days would be so horrible that I had to spend all my energy fighting not to kill myself. But then would come a day or a few days where I felt better and I'd be so glad I hadn't done it.
There are always new things to try. EMSAM is coming out soon. Have you tried an MAOI? Nardil or Parnate? There is rTMS and VNS therapy. Or even ECT.
I've been on meds since 1986. I've been fighting this horrible disease longer than that. I still have hope. I know that when you are in the middle of deep, deep depression, it is impossible to believe things can ever get better so you just have to trust people around you who tell you that they *can.* Can you hang on to that for at least a little while? Can you try a new pdoc?
I will keep you in my prayers.
Marsha
poster:4WD
thread:604905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060129/msgs/605354.html