Posted by deniseuk on January 17, 2006, at 11:17:01
Hi,
I've been reading some of the notes on this site and have been pondering that question about this search for the right drug and are we all searching for that elusive feeling.
I've suffered from depression since I was 17, for 10 years I was completely depression free with the aid of antidepressants, I came off them and then had another episode 5 years later. Since then nothing has really worked very well. I keep trying to go on and act like a normal person with a normal job and do normal things but I never really feel very good or excited about anything. If someone told me I had only 3 months to live I'm almost sure I'd feel relieved.
I was made redundancy in July of this year but being made redundant was nothing compared to the anxiety and depression I experienced 4 years ago, I handled the redundancy ok and I've managed to find temp jobs but all the time I want to find a drug which will make life seem bearable.
Sometimes I get so confused, I don't know why I feel as I do, I don't know why the drugs no longer seem to work, I don't know why I'm depressed and anxious, I'm sure it can't be due to circumstances because I try making changes to my situation but nothing seems to make any difference.
Do I just need to find the right job, do I need to find somebody to love me, do I need to help people more, make more friends, what is it I have to do for life to seem bearable? What is it I'm doing wrong and what is it that non-depressed people are doing that makes them feel ok?
Denise
poster:deniseuk
thread:599948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060115/msgs/599948.html