Posted by 4WD on January 12, 2006, at 20:54:13
In reply to Is this dysphoric mania?, posted by vladimir on January 11, 2006, at 22:39:16
> hi, i am new to the board and would like to get some opinions to help me out because i am wondering if what i experience is a dysphoric mania. i have been doing research and there are a lot of different definitions of dysphoric mania, including it just being depression. but i have read some other definitions and i am wondering if what i experience at times are dysphoric manias.
> so here is what i experience. i suddenly become overcome with a feeling of inner squaler that is extremely, extremely uncomfortable and it feels kinetic. i feel like i have just done something incredibly awful because i feel extremely dirty and and experience intense feelings of horror. i feel unbelievably uneasy. it is really difficult to explain. it feels completely unlike a standard human emotion. i have jump up and walk around really quickly while it is happening until i am able to push the feeling down.
> the worst i have experience this feeling was two years ago and i was hospitalized. i was diagnosed by one doctor with depressive type schizoaffective disorder and by another doctor with bipolar.
> so i don.t know what to think about it anymore. i want the feeling to be dyphoric mania because i need some sort of definition for it, i guess. because it makes me feel like i am not so essentially strange if there were some sort of catagory i could put it into.
> but i was just wondering if anyone else feels something like this and if so, is it dysphoric mania. and i am pretty sure they are not panic attacks because i know people who have had them and this is not what they describe.
> thanks, and i would appreciate any input i can get.
If it helps at all, I know just exactly what you are talking about. I've described it to people as feeling like I'm a prisoner on death row for a murder that I committed and tomorrow is the day set for my execution. I'm filled with horror and guilt and remorse and shame and despair and fear. But I haven't done anything wrong. But I still have those feelings. I used to wake up like that every morning (and still do sometimes).
What meds are you on? Do you have a psychiatrist? Do you have other symptoms or a diagnosis?