Posted by detroitpistons on January 5, 2006, at 13:48:54
In reply to Re: When are benzos justified? » detroitpistons, posted by JohnKeats on January 5, 2006, at 12:19:56
JohnKeats, yxibow, Cairo, nicky, great posts. Again, thanks for all of your thoughts. This really is helping me. When I said that sometimes I feel like I'm operating at 75%, that's probably a very conservative estimate.
I probably underestimate the amount of discomfort that I experience. It's probably because deep down, I don't want to believe that there is something really wrong with me, so I try to shrug it off. I realize now that that thinking is counterproductive.
For a couple weeks now I've really tried to nail down what my symptoms are (think about them, write them down), and the more I think about it, the more I realize that my quality of life could be a hell of a lot better, and that I could probably use the help of a benzo.
A couple of years ago, I'd go to a pdoc and I really didn't know what to tell him, because I didn't have a good grasp of my symptoms. Now I think I'm getting better at that. Either that, or I'm getting more symptoms.
Of late, my concentration has been very poor, I've just been really agitated and nervous and worried, especially in response to a stressor (obviously). I can be very irritable, although this has gotten better over the years. I rarely, if ever, feel pleasure (although I'm not in a state of depression currently). I sort of get a sense of dread about things instead of being positive. I get dull headaches. I sometimes get a weird sensation in my chest area, however, I usually don't get a rapid heartbeat. I chew the crap out of my cheek. I start sweating sometimes for no reason. Sometimes when I'm with people (e.g. when I go to lunch with people from work), I start to clam up and feel really panicky inside and start perspiring, even though I'm able to keep my composure. Relationships can become strained due to a lack of consistency in my mood (some people can't figure me out). My libido is very low (and this is the case even when I'm not taking AD's).
A few years ago, when I'd look at a list of symptoms for GAD or depression, for example, I would rationalize that because my symptoms didn't match exactly to the "textbook" cases and descriptions of those particular disorders, that I must not have them. For example, depression doesn't cause weight gain or weight loss in me, so I figured I must not be depressed....Now I see how ridiculous that is, and that my anx/dep can be completely unique to me and still be a clinical issue...Duh!
Anyways, thanks a lot, you guys are great!
Marc
poster:detroitpistons
thread:594786
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051231/msgs/595486.html