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Why you should neverever begin taking Adderall,etc

Posted by calamityjane on December 12, 2005, at 0:56:15

I used to post here a lot...I was always talking about stimulant meds, because that is my "thing".

I wish I had never felt the euphoria, the excitement of accomplishment, the rush, the intenseness of Ritalin & Adderall.

Because if I hadn't ever felt those then I would not have ever felt the craving, the yearning, the diminishment of my own self worth and abilities. I would never put off cleaning my house or doing work "till I get my pills".
I would never have forgotten to feed my daughter lunch just because my own hunger was invisible to me---and upon realizing she was hungry I would never have settled to give her peanut butter crackers just because they were quick and easy (so as not to interfere into my "cleaning time".)
Instead of playing games with me or learning activites with me my daughter has spent countless mornings, afternoons, evenings with a pillow and a blanket in front of the tv so I could occupy her long enough (so as not to interfere into my "study time"). She is all too familiar with the words "I'll be there in a minute" and "hold on" and "I'm too busy".
Without Adderall I wouldnt have begun to skip school to stay home in order to "study" in a "quieter environment". I also wouldn't have dropped all of my friends and social activities because "I just have so much to do at home."
Finally, and frustratingly, if it weren't for Adderall I would be fast asleep right now.

I hate the feeling now. It does not feel anything like it did at the beginning, its not even really that good. But for some reason I am just as addicted to it as i have ever been. Last month I took a month's worth in just one week. This month I have just about done the same thing again.
I feel terrible about myself. I want to be a better person, and MOST importantly a better mother. This drug got ahold of me. I didn't even seek it out....by way of teachers and school psychologists the world of stimulant drugs sought me out, found me, and kidnapped me into the existence I now live.

PLEASE if you are thinking about going on this med give it LOTS of thought. If addiction runs in your family I would recommend that you opt against it.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:calamityjane thread:588270
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051211/msgs/588270.html