Posted by med_empowered on November 13, 2005, at 23:14:56
OK, so I just talked to a friend...I asked "Do you think I should go to a shrink/go back on meds?" *PAUSE* Response: "Well..you seem to be doing better now than you ever did all those years on meds"
And you know what..she's right. I mean, some days I feel terrible--flat out, undeniably AWFUL--but it kind of balances out. I notice I dont have my hardcore panic attacks (shaking, sweating, etc.) anymore. I rarely consider suicide. I feel awful a lot, but I can pull through.
Could I have learned from all that time being "unwell"? Its like RD Laing's theory that psychosis has something to teach us....Jung thought the same thing, too...could it be that maybe my experiences with mental illness have actually made me a *better* person? Current theory holds that psychosis is bad for you, etc. etc. But what if..what if Jung and others were rights; what if psychosis, and severe anxiety, and severe depression could **sometimes** (obviously, not always) be good for you? I mean, its not as if my life is perfect and I'm happy as can be, but my problems are more manageable now than they've been in a long time. I can sleep without medication, leave my house without medication...I don't get panic attacks, I don't get psychosis....
Maybe I'm better off than I thought? Maybe...maybe now, instead of going to a shrink, I should just work on improving my life (friends, school, job, etc.) and see how that goes? Maybe...maybe all those years on hardcore medications did more harm than good?