Posted by butternut on October 6, 2005, at 19:10:33
Sincere thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and respond to this. I'm not sure whether I should leave well enough alone. I'm doing pretty ok on zoloft, prescribed for major depression and anxiety. My pdoc is always on the lookout for bipolar because I have a family history of it, as well as second-degree relatives with schizophrenia. I've had several major breakdowns in my life (33 right now) severe enough to disrupt life but not to land me in the hospital. Basically, I was frozen with panic, dread, racing thoughts, and depersonalization. Once that was relaxed with klonopin, I would feel very tired and depressed, hopeless, etc. Zoloft turned out to be a godsend. I was put on a very low dose (25mg)and felt better than I had in my entire life. For five years, I was very stable--the constant worring gone, constant self-analysis gone, social anxiety gone, and I had a general sense of well-being. Went off zoloft for a few years--struggled with irritability and depression. Then, had a tragic death in the family, and it all unraveled. Back to constant panic, round the clock worrying, knots in stomach, plus some new stuff--intrusive thoughts of what would happen after I gave birth (I was pregnant). Went back on the Zoloft and felt better surprisingly quickly. Now that I've had time to research bipolar now, I see that it's not just highs and lows. My husband has never thought I was bipolar because he thinks I'm quite even tempered. However, when not on Zoloft, I do have bouts of anger and frustration where I throw things and want to hit myself. Now I see this could be a sign of a bipolar mixed state. To get to the point--I seem to be stable on zoloft. Even though I have a hunch I'm bipolar, should I just leave it alone until I"m not okay on the zoloft? Or ask my pdoc to start me on a mood stabiliser now, to prevent me from having trouble in the future? Mainly I'm concerned about weight gain and side effects of a drug I may not absolutely need. Also, I'm starting to have trouble concentrating at work and to obsess about the possibility of being bipolar, which I think might be a warning sign of another mixed state or something.