Posted by portage on June 19, 2005, at 22:06:51
Those of you who suffer from anxiety disorders...
Do you ever have trouble coping with the concept of reality, of space and time?
I do at times... My" panic attacks" (doctor's current diagnosis) involve intense dissosication and distortion of all of my senses. Hot flashes. Paranoia. The feeling that "time" is moving sideways, backwards, staggering.More frequently, I also have been having thoughts regarding the nature of reality. Scary thoughts, about all that can't be controlled, and about how much of perception is an illusion. About the nature of mental illness. IS it mental illness.
When I become anxious ...time can move slow, space can bend ...Is this my "pathology"? Is it a FALSE take on reality?- I wonder, or are we all just happily ignorant to the fluidity of reality because of the biology of our brain? or am i crazy?
Sometimes I feel a bit psychic, like I know an event will occur immediatly before it does...
To be sure- I'm very cynical when it comes to supernatural phenomena and I'm not in the least superstitious, but these thoughts are becoming bore invasive and more persuasive.
Sometimes these awful thoughts repeat, and sometimes I find myself doing repetative things, repeating words. I worry I'm getting a glimpse of the beginnings of OCD.I'm afraid that I soon may become paranoid, that my anxiety is causing my grasp on reality to break. and i'm afraid of a complete breakdown.
When I'm anxious, Sometimes The ground looks too far away. Sometimes I forget my own limbs, they dont feel like mine. I dissociate. Up until a week ago my panic attacks where out of the blue.
But NOW, for the past week, I have been preoccupied with thoughts of attacks and questions of my perceptions- and they seem to trigger the attacks now. I'm becomeing paranoid that I'm hearing things (even though I don't think I ever have). I say to people "did you just hear that?" alllll the time. When I see something strange I worry that I'm hallucinating (even though I really havent done that either). Strange or unusual sensations make me scared- like today I took a bath, I usually take showers, and taking the bath I feaked out because of how weird the water felt on my skin. its soo creepy.
Am I totally alone here? Maybe I'm becoming delusional- trying to convince myself I'm crazy, as crazy as THAT is. I just dont know... Maybe this is something of a delusion- because I dont think my panic attacks warrent such a preocupation with worry of insanity.To be sure- the symptoms ARE REAL, but the worry about more symptoms is just too much. HYPOCHONDRIA seems most likely. I KNOW they are panic attacks. But I can't control my worries that its something terribly worse.
I dont know..anyone with anxiety have any simmilar problems??
poster:portage
thread:515726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050617/msgs/515726.html