Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 18:47:04
In reply to Re: could it still be effexor withdrawal after 2 month » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 18:35:05
> I'm benzo dependant. I still wake up with the terror and it goes away at night. This is because I think now I can finally take the maximum dose of benzo and go to sleep. Some relief til the morning. Fondly Phillipa
Phillipa,
I read your earlier post somewhere where you said you were now your husband's shadow. That hit home with me. I felt so bad for you. And for me.
I used to be a strong confident competent woman. I was the director of a public library with a $450,000 budget at my discretion. For ten years I did that job and I was great.
And now look at us. I only get out of bed in the morning because it's too painful to lie there and feel the fear. I am scared of everything. I am scared of nothing in particular, I'm just living in terror most days. The Klonopin helps the terror but it makes me more depressed. ANd it takes hours after I take it to quell the terror.
I have no life. My entire engergy and thinking is centered around trying to avoid the fear. People say don't focus on it. Get out and do something to take your mind off it. So I try that and I end up in tears in front of a bunch of people.
My terror goes away at night without drugs. It usually just disappears on its own in early evening or by 11pm. Does yours go away by itself or only after you take your valium?
Is yours anxiety or is it actual fear, like a phobic person facing their phobia? My fear is like that. My terror is like having a crazy person holding a gun to my head with the trigger cocked. For hours. It's like a panic attack that won't stop.
Marsha
poster:4WD
thread:499226
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050516/msgs/499563.html