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Re: And if I die before I wake ... » Maxime

Posted by SLS on March 22, 2005, at 6:23:56

In reply to And if I die before I wake ..., posted by Maxime on March 21, 2005, at 22:14:33

> I ask for this every night but I guess it is not meant to be. But if things continue the way they are now, I will make it so and not leave it up to a higher power. At least I have that ability. At least I can still control whether I live or die because everything else in my life is awful. I can't even control the bloody numbers on a scale anymore. Nothing is right and everything is wrong. And I am putting my PDOC on EBAY before I leave.
>
> Maxime


I would like to reiterate what GG said to you, except I could never do it so well. She is right about everything.

It is so important that you have a support system. Even one person can be a support system. Do you have any source of support outside Psycho-Babble?

Even if your depression is 100% biological, you could profit from counselling to help you through such difficult periods. This doesn't have to be anything intense, just to have someone to talk you through and help you to clean up the mess of lies that depression has been telling you for so long. These illnesses do genuine psychological damage by warping thoughts and feelings. The last time I was suicidal, I sought out the help of a counselor. My goal was to get through the suicidal period and help discover ways of dealing with the illness while it was to continue. People with biological mental illnesses have issues to, just like biologically healthy people.

You could try to address them as best as your depression will allow so that you can channel what little energy the illness affords you in a positive and constructive direction. You will be beating the depression at its own game if you can do this. You can change the way you feel by changing the way you think. A counselor can help you do this, but both you and the counselor must be in accord that your depression is biological and that it is not an attainable goal to cure it, but to be better equipped to live with it while you must still do so.

I almost never drop by the Psychology board, but perhaps there are things there that you might find helpful.

You will get there.


- Scott

 

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